Login with:








Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Save Your Heart

Chapter 7


** 2 Months Later **

“What the hell is going on?” I asked, confused and slightly pissed off. Liam and Danielle had asked me to come over; something I don’t think they’ve ever done. Apparently they wanted to tell me something, something presumably important if it couldn’t just be said over the phone.
“Sorry about all this. It might seem like a bit much, but it was the only way.” Liam spoke. He and Danielle were sitting on the couch across from me, looking like a pair of concerned parents. I didn’t need this. They were being ridiculous.
“Can you please just tell me what’s going on? I have to go, I have plans.” I didn’t actually have ‘plans’. Well, not if ‘plans’ mean going to a crowded bar and getting completely pissed drunk until some girl agrees to go home with me. Those have been my ‘plans’ every day for the last week.
“Well, we just wanted to tell you something, kind of important- That we thought you would want to know...”
“Dani! Just spit it out!” I was getting progressively more irritated. I also knew they had done nothing wrong and didn’t deserve it. But I couldn’t stop myself.
“Anna is coming back.” She finally said, her words rushed. Liam looked at me with concern. I felt all the color drain from my face.
I don’t know what I had expected, but it wasn’t this.
For some reason, I had come to the conclusion not too long ago that Anna and I were going to be forced to live separate lives. Our tour may be over for now, but I knew that wasn’t the only thing holding her back. I mean, it had been 2 months and although I had tried calling her several times, they all went unnoticed. Not even a text telling me to leave her alone. So, I stopped trying. I didn’t really have another choice. As far as I could tell, she was finished with me. And she had every right to be.
“Did you hear what I said, Harry?” Danielle asked gently.
“I heard you.” I muttered. “When?”
“Next week...” I clasped and unclasped my hands, attempting not to blow up at the two of them.
“Shit.” I cursed under my breath.
“Look, Harry. We didn’t want to make this a big deal. We just thought you should know. Anna’s still one of my closest friends and so if i’m seeing her sometimes... I want that to be okay.”
“Obviously it’s okay. And it’s not like I can stop you.” I said.”That’s not even what i’m upset about...”
“Well what is? Not having talked to her earlier?”
“No! The fact that i’ve shagging everything in sight for a month and it’s all over the bloody papers and I look like a fucking asshole, that’s why!” I snapped, standing up, anger pulsing through me. I wasn’t angry with Liam and Danielle, they were just in the line of fire. I needed to get out of here and cool off. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry- I need to go.” I said quickly, storming out of their flat, out the front door, and onto the busy streets. I heard camera flashes going off behind me, I didn’t bother looking back.
I walked for a bit until I knew I needed to get back to my flat. Louis must’ve known about what Liam had told me. It was so like them to keep something like this from me. Especially when it comes to her.

“Lou?!” I yelled, slamming the door behind me.
“LOUIS!” I called, rushing around the rooms trying to find him.
“He’s not here. But you’ve got me.” I heard a voice say. Spinning around, a girl with unnaturally bright blonde hair, dark roots, and too much makeup stood in front of me, a hand on her hip and a smirk on her face.
“Carrie.” I stated, the anger failing to calm down. “How the fuck did you get in here?”
“Good for you, you got it right this time.” She began, ignoring my question. “You know... I should be pissed at you for what you did to me last time. but you’re just too damn hot not to give you a second chance.” She said, walking around me, her hand traveling across my shoulder. She stopped once she was behind me, her lips close to my ear. I was engulfed in the scent of her perfume, it was making me sick.
“I don’t want a second chance.” I growled.
“Oh, please. Harry. We both know that’s not true.” She giggled into my ear, pressing her chest against my back.
“You need to get the hell out of here.” I said, trying my best to stay calm.
“And what if I don’t?” She said, taking a few steps so she was now standing in front of me. This girl didn’t know when to quit.
“Then we’re going to have a problem.” I said through clenched teeth.
“You’re so sexy when you’re angry. Just makes me want you more.” She said, leaning in, pressing her lips to mine for a split second before I stepped away.
“You. Need. To. STOP.” I growled. I would never hurt this girl, I couldn’t. But I was feeling so out of control at the moment, I’m not sure what lengths I would go to.
She just giggled, flipping her hair. “Fine, I’ll go. But I’ll be seeing you soon, Harry. You can be sure of that. And just remember, I can go to the press and leak any story I want. And who are they gonna believe? The innocent girl from Newcastle, or the big shot celebrity who’s clearly gone off the rail, the one who’s willing to do anyone? So you better be extra nice to me next time we see each other. Remember that.” A sickening smile was on her face as she gave me a peck on the cheek before stomping out of my flat in her huge heels.

Once I was alone, I was able to let out the pent up aggression I had been feeling. I kicked the back of the couch, throwing a pillow across the room. My mind was going crazy with thoughts, I couldn’t cease my actions, it was out of my control. As my fist went flying towards the wall, I wasn’t even aware of what I was doing. It wasn’t until it they made contact that I really comprehended what I had done. A shooting pain went up my right arm. There was a gash in the wall, a frame had fallen to the floor. I let out a sound that was somewhere between a loud shout, a grunt, and a sigh.
Then, not bothering to fix the broken picture frame or the hole in the wall, I stumbled into my room, shut the blinds, and tried to forget about everything.

* * *


That day at the concert was the last time I saw Harry. After that day, I think I stayed in bed for about 4 days straight and just cried. I turned my phone off, hid my computer under the bed, and stashed the remotes in the hall closet. I didn’t want to see his face. And lately, there was no escaping it. So I just slept, and cried, and tried to convince myself that I was doing the right thing.

Eventually, I was able to rejoin the human race. My mother came back 2 weeks later, oblivious to everything I had been dealing with while she was enjoying a vacation with her ‘boyfriend’. (I still feel really weirded out calling him her boyfriend...)

So now, it’s August. And after countless arguments, about 5 meetings with me, my mom, and Dr. Newton, and a really serious temper tantrum by your’s truly;
I was going back to London.
It had taken some hard work, but I finally managed to convince my mom that it was the best thing for me. Dr. Newton was actually really helpful. He actually agreed with me, telling her that starting a new school during my Senior year would be illogical, and a huge change. Apparently I would work better in a ‘comfortable atmosphere’. So, yeah, I am currently packing up my room, ordering textbooks, and mentally preparing myself to be living in the same city as the boy who caused me to go into the downward spiral I was talking about earlier.

“-Anna! Did you hear me?!” My mother yelled, throwing my door open. My iPod was blasting, purposely so I wouldn’t hear her. But she didn’t need to know that.
“What mom?” I asked casually, not looking up from my half-empty suitcase. Most of my stuff was being shipped over. But the stuff that went into this suitcase would be everything I would have for about 2 weeks, so I needed to choose wisely.
“I asked you if you could please come here. I need to talk to you.”
I followed her into the living room, sitting on one of the uncomfortable-yet-fancy chairs.
“What is it?” I asked.
“We need to have a discussion about what’s going to happen this year. I do not want a repeat of last school year; embarrassing photos, rumours... It isn’t acceptable. As part of this family, you need to understand that even if you’re not living under my roof, you still have a reputation to uphold. Your father wanted to send you to boarding school last year because he thought it would be the smartest decision. That backfired. So I hope you understand what my expectations are.” She pursed her lips, crossing her arms over her chest, staring at me. She expected me to automatically agree with her and promise to be on my best behavior. She should know me better than that by now...
“I don’t really know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to say that you are going to do everything in your power to not get into any trouble. I don’t want to get any calls from the school. And I most definitely do not want to see your face on the front page on any of those silly websites or magazines. I don’t know this boy, and I don’t need to. But I know that he most definitely had something to do with your change, and I don’t like that. So just, make smart choices. And please realize that your actions don’t just affect you, but all of us.”

Her words were harsh. I didn’t feel like it was necessary to argue with her, she was going to see this situation any way she wanted to. In her world, I was a burden that needed to be ‘fixed’. But thankfully, I was leaving. And she wasn’t going to have to deal with me anymore.
If she thought Harry was the reason that I ‘changed’, she was even more oblivious than I thought. Sophomore year, before I even knew Harry, or heard of One Direction, I was a skeleton of a person. But she was too wrapped up in her own life and her own drama to even notice. And then, they sent me away, hoping it would all sort itself out. And it sort of did; thanks to “This Boy”. Harry saved me, not the doctors or the therapists or any of the things my mother pushed me to do.
It was all him.

* * *

“-Yeah, and the three of us are gonna pick you up from the airport, okay?” Perie’s cheery voice over the phone was comforting, letting me know that normalcy wasn’t too far away.
“Okay, Perfect!”
“WE CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU GIRLIE!!!!” I heard Eleanor yell in the background.
“Tell her I miss her too.” I giggled, holding the phone against my ear while attempting to shut my overflowing suitcase.
“- El, She says she misses you and to stop screaming in my ear because you’re gonna make me go deaf. Yes she did too say that!” Perrie joked with Eleanor as I continued to struggle. “Oh! Anna, babe, should we let you go? This call’s probably costing you a fortune!”
“Don’t worry about it. The least my parents can do is pay for a ridiculous phone bill.” She laughed, agreeing with me. I had explained the situation to the girls over Skype last night.
“But I should probably go, the car’s gonna be here any minute.”
“Okay. Have a safe flight, try and relax. We have a big night planned for you when you get here. See you soon babe!” Perrie cheered. I hung up the phone, throwing it into my carry on bag.

The goodbye’s didn’t last long; an uncomfortable hug from my mother, a phone call from my dad. And before I knew it, I was making my way through JFK Airport, boarding the plane to London. Getting out of New York (and my mother’s grip), was stressful. The past few days have been filled with to-do list’s and trips to CVS for all of my USA-only toiletries that I knew I would want in the next few weeks. But mostly, it was the conversations my parents forced on my almost daily; discussing how I would deal with not seeing Dr. Newton every week, their expectations for me, etc... So, with that said, the first-class seat waiting for me for the next 7 hours was more than exciting. I liked flying, it was an escape. For those few hours, no one on the ground was able to get to you, bother you...

But instead of spending that time sleeping and relaxing, it was spent trying to get the thoughts of stupid Harry Styles out of my head. Which proved to be impossible. The fact that I had been telling myself that this would be easy was a joke, I was lying to myself. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. It couldn’t. I was going to have to see him. I was going to have to talk to him. And although I had done my best to not pay attention to any of the tabloids or news stories, it was impossible to not see the pictures of him leaving clubs with a different girl every night that were plastered on every magazine cover.

So, by the time the plane touched ground at Heathrow Airport, I hadn’t gotten to sleep at all.
I was a mummy, robotically making my way through customs, towards baggage claim. I was delirious, but I was pretty sure the three girls standing in a row wearing matching t shirts and tiara’s weren’t just my imagination playing trick on me.
“ANNA!!!” I heard them squeal. Yup, definitely not my imagination, this become even more evident when people turned towards the source of the high pitched screeches.
I couldn’t help but laugh at their ridiculous outfits. A smile broke out on my face and I ran over to them, throwing my arms around Danielle, Eleanor, and Perrie, initiating a group hug.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS FOR ME!!” I said, my voice muffled.
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE REALLY HERE!!” Eleanor said back, all of us still yelling and drawing a bit of attention towards ourselves. But I was too happy and too sentimental to care.
“ME NEITHER!!” I giggled, giving them one last squeeze before extracting myself.
“So what’s with the outfits?” I laughed, finally grabbing my suitcase from the carousel.
“Um, we’re your fan club. Duh.’ Perrie joked, pointing to the glittery letters that spelled out ‘Team Anna’. “- And the tiara’s are just fun.” She added, I nodded, as if it were the most logical thing in the world.
“Alright, let’s go! There’s like, 10 paps outside and I’m just DYING to show off my super hot outfit!” Danielle struck a pose that was meant to look silly, but of course, she made look perfect and graceful. Damn her and her dancer ways.

“Alright, sooo.... what’s the plan for tonight?”
“I dunno, that place ‘Zero’ or whatever it was called was kinda fun I guess...”
“What do you wanna do?” Eleanor asked.
“Huh?” I muttered, trying my best to keep my eyes open. I was so tired, and the idea of getting dressed in ‘real clothes’ and going to a club and having to walk in heels and like, wear a good bra, was just way too much.
“I think our girl’s all tuckered out.” Eleanor said, pinching my cheek. “How about a classic girls night in sleepover? But you know, with alcohol?”
“Oh my god that sounds so perfect you have no idea.” I said, thanking god I wasn’t going to have to care even a little tiny bit about what I looked like.
“Ohh, this is gonna be fun! But we're gonna need to go to the shop. Because I have literally nothing in my kitchen.” Danielle said from the driver’s seat.

* * *

Hours later, after a much-needed shower, the four of us were watching TV, eating mass amounts of junk food, and passing around a bottle of Tequila. I wasn’t really in the mood to get completely drunk. But I was such a lightweight that after just a few shots, I was already starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. Not drunk, just... loose.
“Ugh, i’m so happy to be back where they drive on the wrong side of the road, and where you can drink by 18, and where they have actual FUN. PEOPLE. New York sucked...” I whined, walking around Danielle’s living room in a pair of pajama shorts and a t shirt, holding the bottle of Tequila in one hand and a popsicle in the other.
“If you spill that, I might have to kill you.”
“Oh, hush... I’m having a moment. I feel good. In case you were unaware, that is a new thing for me these days.” I pretended to be soaking it all in, much to the amusement of the three other girls.
“Oh my god, get you arse over here and give me that bottle.” Eleanor laughed, stealing it away from me. I plopped down next to her.
“So, hows the Tommo been doing?”
“He’s...great.” She said, not looking at me while she said it.
“Just ‘great’? Really?”
“I don’t know, he’s good. We’re good. I just, I don’t really want to talk about that.”
“Oh, because of me?” I understood. She thought that talking about Louis automatically meant talking about Harry. “El, you can talk about him. he’s your boyfriend for god sakes. I’m okay. Really.”
“Anna...” She said, finally looking me in the eye.
“I am!” She cocked her head as if to say ‘seriously? come on.’
“Fine, I’m still not 100% but i’m getting there.”
Danielle’s phone rang, creating a perfect distraction from a conversation about my pathetic life.
“Hello? Oh hey babe!...Yeah, she’s here.....Well we were gonna go out but it just seemed like more of a girls night....ha! Yes, i’m sure you can relate...Well are you guys having fun?...Liam! Stop it!....You’re too much...Okay, I love you baby, bye”
If I was being honest, their perfect coupl-ey conversation completely killed my buzz, bringing my hurtling back into reality.
“You guys are so cute. I think I’m gonna throw up.”
“Um, thanks?” Danielle giggled.
“I’m serious, if you weren’t the perfect couple and I didn’t love you, I would despise you.”
“Alright! I think Anna’s had more than enough of this-” She joked, plucking the bottle from my grasp. I began to protest, then decided against it. I didn’t need to be spewing out things that I knew shouldn’t be said, and that is exactly what alcohol did to me;Gave me this undying urge to be brutally honest. And most of the time, it just came back to bite me in the ass.

The rest of the night was spent in girly heaven; I painted my nails a pretty light purple color, ate all of the cookie dough we got at the grocery store, cried over an only semi-sad movie, and passed out way past midnight.
And now, 6 hours later, my jet lag was getting the best of me and I couldn’t fall back asleep. It wasn’t even 8:30 and I was already showered, dressed, and ready to go school supplies shopping. This was the only half decent thing about going back to school. And it was something I always liked to do alone. I didn’t need people judging me for me obsession with 3-ring binders and highlighters.
Tesco was the closest thing to a Target or Staples that they had in the UK, so it would have to do. And although it wasn’t the same as back-to-school shopping in America, it was still exciting for me.
“So, can I safely assume that those pens are guaranteed to give me an A in Calculus?” I jumped, spinning around to see al boy with messy light brown hair and a goofy grin in front of me.
“OLLY!” I screamed, dropping the pack of pens into my basket and flinging my arms around his neck. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL AT HOME?!”
“I came back early, wanted to get settled before everyone else shows up.” He laughed, stumbling backwards before hugging me back.
“Aren’t you ahead of the game, as usual.” I joked, ruffling his hair.
“What about you? You know, I did call you a couple times.” I suddenly felt a wave of guilt. I had gotten his calls, I had just been so distracted all summer.
“I know, I’m sorry. It’s been... crazy, to say the least. But I’m just happy to be back now, so hopefully everything can go back to normal.” He nodded, seeming to understand without having to ask another question. “So, tell me, how was your summer?”
“It was actually... kind of great. I got a job at an ice cream store back in Bristol. And, um... you know that girl Morgan? She’s a year below us... her room is on your floor?” I nodded, remembering his faintly. She was cute; kinda quiet, but nice. “- Yeah, well... She’s from Bristol too, and she came into the store and we’re sort of, like, going out, I guess.”
“Oh my god, Olly! That’s awesome! I’m so happy for you! She always seemed super sweet”
“Yeah, she is.” He said, blushing and giving a shy smile. It was adorable. I missed that.
“Yeah, it’s great. So... I saw some stuff, online, and, on TV... Are you doing alright?” He looked at me with genuine concern. And I really did appreciate it. But I wasn’t interested in having this conversation in the middle of the school supplies isle.
“I guess you could say; I’m working on it. It’s been tough. But, i’m here, which I thought to be impossible until just a few weeks ago. So, I guess if I can convince my mom to let me come back to school, I can figure out how to get my life back in order.” He smiled, nodding.
“Well, if you ever need anything.”
“I know where you live.” He chuckled.
“I actually have to get going, but i’ll see you soon, when you move back into the dorms?”
“Yup. can’t wait!”
We hugged again, a bright smile on Oliver’s face. He was so happy, I could see that much.
I was really happy to see Olly, I had missed him a ton over the summer. But I had to admit, if only to myself, I was jealous. I wished I was doing that well. I couldn’t help but wonder when I would finally be able to honestly say “I’m doing really well” when someone asks.


Thank you guys so much for all of your nice messages, I really really appreciate it. I know this chapter was kinda filler-ey and was really just here to move the story along, but I still hope you like it.
Please let me know what you think about this chapter, I love your opinions and talking to you :)



Are you okay? Your really scaring me!! You havent updated in like forever! Im really worried? Are you alright!?

Update!!! Im dying!!!

i just updated on my blog !!!!!!! notarealhipster.tumblr.com

im going to try and update it on here now but it's been glitchy so it might not work. but you can go read it there :)