Save Your Heart
** Two Weeks Later **
I have successfully avoided Harry for pretty much two straight weeks. Of course, we still lived together, so I had to talk to him sometimes, but it was never more than a few words or meaningless conversation. And of course, yes, I was hurting. A lot. I hated seeing him dressed to go out at night while I stayed home and studied. I hated thinking about where he was going, who he was with, what he was doing, and with who. It hurts so damn much. But I’ve thrown myself into schoolwork, and planning for the future. And it’s doing a pretty good job of occupying my time and brain energy. So I have almost to opportunities to think about anything else. Almost.
I’ve also spent a lot more time at school. I’m not required to eat lunch there, with my special schedule. But I’m still allowed to. I’ve sat with Molly, Keenan, Bryce, and Oliver. We’re not as close as we were last year, but it’s always nice to talk to them.
“Hey guys.” I suddenly hear from behind me. A guy walks up to the table, taking the empty seat.
“Hey, man!” Bryce says enthusiastically. I turn to see a guy with dirty blonde hair sit next to me. He greets everyone at the table, then turns to me.
“Hi, I’m Jason Spitz.” We shake hands.
“Yeah, you guys haven’t met yet, right?! Jason is new, just moved here from…. where are you from again?” Bryce asks. Jasons laughs.
“Right, there, so you guys are both American, I’m sure you’ll have tons of stuff to talk about!”
“Yeah, because ALL Americans have stuff in common. Like… overthrowing the British, and McDonalds… and Obama…” Everyone at the table laughs at Jason. he seems nice.
“Whatever.” Bryce grumbles. We all eat lunch with a continuous easy conversation. Jason tells me what classes he’s in, and I realize we’re in the same Claculus class and I never even realized it.
“Yeah, I sit in the back and hardly talk, Math’s not really my thing, so I’m basically saving myself from a world of embarrassment by attempting to answer a single question. But you seem pretty good in that class.”
“Oh, I don’t know…” I mean, I am doing pretty well in the class, I just feel awkward telling him that.
“Well, maybe you could help me out before that test in a couple weeks.”
“Yeah, sure.” He nods and smiles and I realize that Jason is really cute, likereally cute. He has blue eyes and dark blonde eyelashes and he looks so ‘American’, as weird as that sounds. I haven’t been around a lot of people like him, especially in the last year and a half. It’s sort of comforting.
“Well, I gotta head off to Art History, I’ll see you guys later.” Jason picked up his lunch, chucked it in the trash, and waved goodbye.
“So….?” Molly asked, smiling devilishly.
“What did you think?”
“What are you talking- Oh. My. God.”
“I knew she’d be mad.” Keenan muttered, shaking his head next to Molly, who was way too giddy for my liking.
“You are NOT trying to set me up. No. No way!”
“Oh, come on, it’s not that big of a deal. I just thought it would be nice to have something to take your mind off of… other things.” I would ask her how she knew about what was ging on, since I haven’t been in the mood to talk about it, but I knew it had to be plastered all over the magazines, the ones I did everything in my power to avoid.
“I appreciate it, Molls, but I am so completely not ready for something like that. I’m sorry, it’s just not what I need right now.”
“Fine, whatever, just, be nice to him, alright? I think he likes you.”
“Whatever.” There was now way she knew if he liked me, we just met. But Molly was a matchmaker at heart and I didn’t have the heart to ruin all of her fun.
But maybe she was right, maybe I needed a distraction. Maybe having someone like Jason to help with math and talk with and occupy my time with is the right thing for me right now.
Or maybe Molly is just really persuasive….
* * *
“You’re insane, you know that, right?” Zayn and I were sitting in the waiting room at Syco. Everyone else was busy today, so he offered to come with me to talk to Simon about the current situation.
“I know, I just don’t care.” I was willing to do anything to get out of this. I was talking to Simon for the first time today. But I didn’t expect much to come from this meeting, I just had to try. And when he did nothing to help me, I wasn’t giving up. I was just going to figure this out on my own. I was so tired of the way things have been for the past few weeks. I’m completely miserable, and Carrie is getting everything she wants out of me. It’s not fair. But the part that’s killing me the most, is Anna. She’s barely spoken to me. And part of me is glad because I don’t want to have to lie to her.
“Harry? He’s ready for you.” The receptionist, Hilary, says.
“I’ll come in when you want me to.” Zayn and I have already come up with a plan to double team Simon in an attempt to explain how insane this whole publicity thing is. I’m not sure it’ll work, but ti was just a Plan B.
I’ve never done something like this before, going against Simon. He was always the one calling the shots, and I always trusted him. But with this, he’s wrong. He just is. And I know I shouldn’t blame him, but I can’t help it. I’m sort of nervous to see his reaction, but I’m more determined than anything.
“Hello, Harry. It’s been awhile, how’ve you been?” Simon is sititng behind his clear glass desk, looking intense and untouchable, like always.
“Um, well, that’s something I want to talk to you about, sort of why I’m here.”
“Okay, have a seat.” I sit down in one of the black leather chairs, folding my hands in my lap nervously. Simon can be really scary when he wants to be.
“I wanted to talk to you about Carrie Bates.”
“Uh huh, I see the two of you have gotten quite close, going along with the plan very well. I see a lot of potental in her, you know?”
“Yeah, well…. I wanted to talk to you about the ‘plan’… Why didn’t you ever ask my opinion, or if I even wanted to do it?”
“I was told by Carrie that you two already knew each other, I assumed that it wouldn’t be an issue.”
“Well… it is. A big one.”
“Because Carrie is just very… forceful. I’m sorry, I just really am not okay with this, any of it.”
“Harry, it’s not that big of a deal-”
“But it is to me. Not only for myself, but for everyone. None of the boys like Carrie. Zayn is right outside, I can have him come in and tell you for himself.”
“That won’t be neccesary.”
“Alright, well, I just wanted to let you know. I’m not willing to ruin the relationships that I care about just for the press, for this girl I don’t even know.”
Simon sighed heavily, leaning back in his chair. I felt like I was back in primary school, In front of the head master.
“Harry, it’s only for a few more months, it’s really not too bad. Just, do me a favor, and think this through. By keeping this up with Carrie, you’re helping me, and the company as a whole. Now, I don’t want to force you to do anything that you don’t want to do, but you really need to give this some thought. I’ll ease up on the couple appearences for the next week, give you the time you need. Then, let’s meet again next week and talk about it some more. Alright?”
It was better than what I had been expecting, so I couldnt really complain. “Yes, alright.”
“Good, lovely talking to you. I’ll see you again in a weeks time.” That was my cue to go.
Zayn asked a couple questions that I wasn’t in the mood to talk about too much, so he eventually backed off and we both went home speerately.
When I got back, Anna was sitting at the small dining table, books and papers and notecards covered the tabletop, and she was intently reading. She looked up when I shut the door.
“Hi.” She said, not looking up again.
“Hi. Um, how’re you doing?” I was buying time, because I needed to get my thoughts straight. I wanted to tell her everything, the whole truth. And the only reason I have held off for the past few weeks is because she asked me to, and it semeed like the best thing to do. But I was done, i had to talk to her.
“Fine, I guess… I’m sorry, Harry, I just have a lot of work to do and-”
“Can I just talk to you, for a second?”
She sighed, tugging at her long blonde ponytail.
“Sure, okay. I don’t really have that much time though.”
“It’s alright, it won’t take long.”
Sitting down next to her, I suddenly am about a hundred times more nervous. I take a breath and look directly at her. She needs to believe everything I’m saying, she has to.
“What you saw, at the club, a couple weeks ago? I wasn’t lying when I said it wasn’t at all what you thought. And i really, really need to explain everything to you.”
“Harry, I don’t think this is the best time…” She looked nervous and fidgety.
“But it needs to be! I need you to know what’s going on.” I was desperate for Anna to just listen to me.
“And I get that, but um, I sort of have someone coming over like, now, to study, and I just don’t want to get into this right now when we won’t have the time to finish it.” Suddenly, the doorbell rang, Anna quickly got up to get it.
“Hi, Jason, come on in.” She said solemly.
Who the hell is Jason?
“Hey, Anna, you alright?” I heard a guy say in an American accent. I heard them walk down the hall and into the kitchen. Hey looked like a fucking American Football player, the pick. I didn’t even know this guy, but I hated him.
“Jason, this is Harry. My, um, roommate.” Hearing Anna call me her roommate felt like a punch to the gut, hated it, and I think she knew that. “-Harry, this is Jason. He’s new and wanted some help with Calculus, we have a pretty big test in like, two weeks…” Her voice trailed off and she looked around, clearly uncomfortable.
I couldn’t let her know how much this was effecting me, how badly I wanted to kick this guy out on his arse for looking at Anna like he was this very second. He didn’t get to look at her like that.
“So, we better get started…” Jason said. Anna nodded.
“Yeah, good idea.”
I abruptly got up from the table, storming out the door a second later. I couldn’t sit in my room like her fucking roommate and act like her having this guy here wasn’t killing me. I needed to get out of here, I needed a drink.
* * *
NotesI'm sorry this chapter is kinda lame / annoying :/ but i still hope it's enjoyable, evne a little....
let me know what you think / what you think is gonna happen enxt / what you WANT to happen... basically anything :)
thank you for being patient with the slow pace lately, also thank you for reading !!!