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Save Your Heart

Chap 17


“So i’m confused. Are you guys like, together?” Liam and Niall were over, pretending like they were going to help me clean up from the party when in reality they were sitting around watching TV and eating from my kitchen.

“I’m not really sure…” I said honestly, picking up yet ANOTHER raw piece of bacon up off the ground and chucking it in the trashcan.

“What do you mean ‘you don’t know’. Seems like something you should know.” Niall laughed at himself, flipping through the channels.

“We haven’t really talked about it that much.”

“Ya seemed pretty together last night; disappearing in the middle of the party, never to return…” Liam finally hit Niall on the back of the head, shutting him up.

“I’m giving her time, she needs it. That’s where we are right now.” I wasn’t giving the two of them all the detais, no one needed to know our entire situation other than us. “But um, speaking of Anna. Do you know anything about how Danielle’s feeling? Anna’s still really upset about everything.” Liam sighed, immediately looking guilty.

“Shit, I know, she’s still kinda pissed at me.”

“Why is she only kind of pissed at you and won’t even talk to Anna? You’re the one that kissed her!” Niall’s filter has disappeared from the conversation, so the best thing was to just ignore the comments. But in this case, I agreed with him.

“You do know he’s right, yeah? This makes no sense!”

“I know, okay?! I’ll talk to her.” He said sharply. Liam’s response let me know that that part of the conversation was over. He clearly wasn’t interesting in talking about it anymore.

“I need to be out of here in half an hour, do you think that’s enough time to get your bums off the couch and help me clean the rest of this place?” I asked the two of them, hoping I wouldn’t have to resort to begging or bribery.

Thankfully, all they had to do was take out the trash and put away the last of the dishes.

I was in my room, debating on whether or not I felt like making my bed, when Niall’s voice carried down the hall into my romo.


“Ever thought about answering it?” I joked, jogging down the hall and throwing open the front door, immediately wishing I had checked who it was first.

“Hey there, missed me?” The overly sweet and high-pitched voice only intensified my hangover headache, making my grit my teeth.

“Carrie” I groaned, blocking the doorway best I could.

“I heard the funniest thing earlier. I heard that you had a party last night. But, I know that can’t be true because I wasn’t there. So there’s no way, right?” She giggled, touching my shoulder, apparently trying to coax me into letting her in.

“How did you get this address?” I asked, seething.

“Oh, sweetie, it wasn’t that hard.”

It sounds insane, but I had all but forgotten about Carrie until this very moment. I thought she just gave up, realized I was less than interested in her. But… apparently not.

“So, you gonna let me in?” She asked, trying to take a step forward, I stopped her.

“I don’t think so. Sorry, Carrie.” I felt bad, but brutal honesty semeed to be the only way to get through to this girl.

“Aye, Haz, who was it?!” I hear Niall call from the kitchen. Before I can stop him, he’s standing directly behind me, looking from Carrie to me, clearly figuring everything out in his head.

“Ohhh….” Niall says, remembering Carrie from walking into the greenroom that one time over the summer tour.

“Hi boys, mind if I borrow this one for a few?” She asked, grabbing onto my arm.

“Uh-” Niall was dumbfounded, mouth agape, eyes wide.

“Carrie, I think it’s best If you just go.” I was doing my best to let her down easily. But it was much easier said than done.

“You should know by now that I don’t take orders very well. Well,you know, unless…” She lifted her brows suggestively and I sighed.

“Alright! Fine! We’ll talk, you’ve got five minutes.” I was hoping that was how long it would take to fill her in on what she’d missed and get her out of my life for good.

I shut the door, walking out onto our front steps, thankful that there weren’t any photographers waiting for us out here. That’s honestly the very last thing I needed. “What can I do for you, Carrie?” I felt a little guilty for being so rude. But then I remembered who I was talking to, and the guilt seemed to vanish.

“Wanna know who I had a meeting with this morning?” She spoke in a forced sing-songey voice that got on my nerves.

“Can we please not play games, I’m not in the mood.”

“No games, Harry. It was with your friends over at Syco records, A Mr. Simon Cowell, to be exact.”

“What the hell? What are you talking about?” Why would this random girl have a meeting with Simon?! Was she lying? This made no sense at all.

“Oh, now you’re interested?” She giggled.

“Why did you have a meeting with my record labe?”

She took a few steps down the steps, turning on her sharp heel spinning back around to face me. She was trying to draw this out as long as possible, and was enjoying every second if.

“Welll…. I’ve been trying to ‘break into the business’ for a while now. You know, acting, singing, modeling, apparently I could do it all-” Like hell she could. “- So my manager got me the meeting at Syco. I almost didn’t take it, but then I remembered it was the label of a certain friend of mine. Friend, being you; though we’re a bit more than firends…” She stepped closer to me, trailing her fingers up my chest, I stepped out of her grasp.

“No. We’re not.”

“I’d say… friends with benefits? Yeah, I think that fits the description of what we have.”

“We have nothing.” I wasn’t sure what I was going to have to do to get this through her head.

“- Anyway, I met with Simon, and a bunch of other fancy business-type people, plus my whole team, and we all agreed that your image and reputation is in dire need of a boost. I know, it’s really considerate of me to do all this for you.”

“What. Are. You. Talking. About?” I was getting more and more irritated by the second

“You, Harry Styles, are looking at your brand new public girlfriend.”

- -

“Shit, that chick’s like Poppy 2.0!” Niall exclaimed when I had finally gotten Carrie to leave, my head still spinning from what she had told me.

“Oh, god, PLEASE do not say that…” I groaned, falling onto the couch. This was just a whole lot of drama that I really did not feel like dealing with right now.

“So what was that all about? Things seemed pretty tense.” Liam asked, pushing my legs off the couch and sitting next to me, forcing me to sit up and face the questioning looks of both him and Niall. Although, Niall’s was more like an excited puppy, always wanting to be in on the story. I couldn’t lie to them, they’d see right through me in a second, they knew me too well. So, was I just gonna tell the truth? I guess so;

“I’m assuming you remember her, Niall?” I sighed.

“Uh yeah, kinda hard to forget.” He chuckled.

“Not helping, but whatever. She had a meeting with Syco, something about her trying to ‘break into the business’ or some shit. And according to her, my image needs help, so they pretty much assigned her to be my new fake ‘public’ girlfriend.” I spoke sarcastically, using air quotes when necessary. I was just so irritated, I needed to get some of the aggression out.

“And Simon agreed to this?” Liam asked, his brows knitting together, clearly just as confused as I was.


“This is insane, I don’t get it.” Niall said. At least I knew I’d have the two of them on my side.

“I’m gonna have to call Simon, talk to some of the people over at the label. But I can’t imagine that this was his idea, there’s no way. I mean-” I stopped, thinking for a second. “- Is she right?”

“About what?”

“Is my reputation, different, changed?” I looked at both Liam and Niall, trying to gage their opinions by the looks on their faces. Unfortunately, I got nothing.

“I mean…” Niall started, but stopped suddenly.

“Just tell me.” I muttered, needing to know the truth.

“These last few months, I guess things have changed. But, it’s not bad enough that Simon would need to get involved. You’re just, you know, growing up, figuring out your life and making some choices about who you wanna be. It’s not a big deal, Harry.” Liam was being nice, I knew he would never be as brutally honest as I wanted him to be. Especially not right now.

“Shit” I siad under my breath, realizing how much of a mess my life had become. I was so focused on Anna, on getting her back and on having her live with ne, I completely lost track of everything else. And in reality, that was the most important part. That’s what mattered to her; who I was. Not where we lived or anything like that. If I had a shitty reputation, so would she. And I knew that this reputation was exactly what was stopping her from getting close to me again. Everything was starting to make just a little bit more sense.

“What’re you gonna do?” Niall asked, looking intently at me.

“I haven’t go a clue.”

- - -

“Jesus, I swear, I didn’t think it was possible, but we actually cleaned this entire damn house.” Anna flopped down onto the couch, clearly just as exhausted as I was. It took all day, but we did get the house cleaned after the mess the party had caused. “I. Am. So. Tired.” She pulled her hair up and away from her neck, tying it into a ponytail. As she did this, the bottom of her t shirt lifted slightly, giving me a view of a small strip of skin. Even just that, the small gesture of her putting ehr hair up, made me unable to look away.

And then I remembered the situation I was now in, and I felt a sinking in my stomach.

I needed to tell her. I had to, there wasn’t another option. God, I just wish there were. Things were going so well, too well, of course this was when something like Carrie and her stupid publicity stunt would come along and ruin everything. Things we me and Anna could never just run smoothly.

“You want a water?” I called from the fridge, trying to get some distance from her to calm myself down.

“Sure, thanks.” I grabbed two bottles, coming back into the living room and handing one to her, opting to sit on the chair next to the couch, suddenly feeling awkward around her.

“You know, you can sit next to me, right?” I smirked, trying to coem off as casual, and not like being around her made me all nervous and jumpy.

“I know.” I got up, sitting on the couch, giving a small amount of space betwene us. Anna sat up, leaning her head against my shoulder.

“Do you have to work a lot this week?” She asked, toying with the bracelet around her wrist.

“Not too much, I think they’re finally giving us a break for a little.”

“Good, you deserve it. They work you guys so hard, I worry sometimes.”

This surprised me. “You do?” She sat back up, turning to look at me.

“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s like, nonstop. I wonder if you’re drinking enough water, eating enough, getting enough sleep…” Her hand moved to my face, tracing under my eye, where I seem to have aquired parmanent bags. I did get tired, especially when we were on the road. But I knew it was worth it, and I knew there were people counting on us. So I tried to forget about the lack of sleep or sufficent meals. The days just seemed to run together and it mattered less and less.

“So, are you alright? Really?” She continued, her hand not leaving my face. My hand drifted to her knee, squeezing lightly.

“I’m okay. But you’re very sweet to care.”

“Of course I care.”

The way she was looking at me, that sparkle in her eyes, it was something I’d been hoping to see for a long time. And now that I had, I couldn’t feel worse about it. becuase I knew it wasn’t going to be the same after I told her about Carrie. Anna had every right to be pissed. And I was going to tell her, I just wish there was more time before this whole thing went public.

“Harry-” She started, her hand falling to rest over mine. I was suddenly aware about how close we were. I wanted to stay like this, but I couldn’t. Before she could get another word out, I jumped up, crossing the room and going back into the kitchen, andything to get my mind thinking clearly, which was never possible while I was around Anna.

“Um…okay…” I heard her say quietly from the living room. I killed me to hurt her, but it was the only choice I had. Because soon enough, she was going to hate me all over again. And everything that had progressed between us, everything I’ve tried so damn hard to prove to her, all of that would be gone.

* * *


Schooldays went quickly, maybe that had something to do with the fact that I was there for barely three or four hours a day. But before I knew it, I was unlocking the front door and throwing my tote bag on the floor of the foyer, not wanting to look at it until absolutely necessary. It was only Tuesday, and I was ridiculously exhausted. But I was also a little on edge, thanks to my very confusing roommate.

Harry had been acting weird for a couple days and I had no clue why. Maybe he was regretting everything that happened this weekend, maybe he was just in a bad mood. I didn’t know, mostly because he wouldn’t talk to me.

“Hello?!” I called out, assuming he was out of the house. But then I heard a voice coming from Harry’s room. I walked quietly through the house and down the hall, stopping just a few feet in front of his door. Hardwood floors made sneaking around and spying a bit mroe difficult, what with all the squeaking and everything. But he was clearly in a heated discussion which was evident from the rising volume of his voice, so I doubt he’d notice. I’m not even sure why I was spying, I just had a feeling that something was going on that I wasn’t aware of, and he didn’t want me to be.

“I need a meeting TOMORROW!-” He was almost yelling now, it was pretty rare that Harry yelled. “-You had to have known I wouldn’t be okay with this! Whatever, It doesn’t matter, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.-” I heard him pacing his room. “- I do not want her there. And I don’t want any of this getting out. Yes, yes alright. Fine. Bye.” Right as he hung up I made a big show of opening my door, making sure he heard that I was home, hopefully assuming that I had gotten in right at the end of his phone call.

I crossed my room, throwing my shoes into my closet and opening up my laptop.

“Hey, you just get home?” I looked up to find Harry leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

“Uh, yeah- What were you up to?” Maybe, just maybe, he would be willing to tell me the truth.

“Oh, nothing, just hanging out.”

Or, maybe not.

“Well… I’ve got a lot of work to do.” Great, now I way lying to him too.

“Oh, yeah, ‘course. I was going to go get some stuff at the store. Anything you want?” I just shook my head, pretending to be completely engrossed with whatever was on my computer screen.

“Alright… I’ll be back soon then.”

I waited untl I heard him walk down the hall and out the door before I dropped the act, exhaling a deep breath.

What the hell was going on?

Was the ‘she’ he’d been talking about on the phone me? Who else could it be? Why was he so upset? What was the meeting about? And why the HELLwasn’t I comfortable enough just being honest and asking him these questions?!

But also, why the hell didn’t he find it important enough to just be honest and tell me?

Just when I thought we were making some progress, we take two giant steps backwards.


hope you like !! let me know what you think please :)

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Are you okay? Your really scaring me!! You havent updated in like forever! Im really worried? Are you alright!?

Update!!! Im dying!!!

i just updated on my blog !!!!!!! notarealhipster.tumblr.com

im going to try and update it on here now but it's been glitchy so it might not work. but you can go read it there :)