Save Your Heart
Day one into living in a house with Anna and already i’m question my own perosnal morals. I gave her the bigger bedroom, the one with the connected bathroom, which I am more than okay with. I’m not really picky with things like that. She put up a fight, insisting I take it because ‘technically’ it’s my house. But it was another battle that I wasn’t going to let her win, like the rent one we had earlier.
It was a Sunday morning, and for some reason I found myself awake for the day at 8 AM, slightly unusual for me on a weekend. But I think it was the smell of brewing coffee and eggs cooking that woke me up.
That’s when it happened. I walked into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, when I caught a glimpse of Anna standing in front of the stove, making french toast, wearing the tiniest pair of shorts i’ve ever seen, an equally small white t shirt, her hair up in a messy ponytail, her sexy as hell legs right there for me to stare at. And jesus christ I almost passed out. Because yeah, i’d seen her like this before, I knew how drop-dead gorgeous she is. But it’s never been like this, with my not actually being allowed to touch her. Just thought of it sounded like a form of torture.
“Hey, you’re up! I thought i’d make breakfast.” She looked over her shoulder at me, her sweetly innocent smile making me ache for her even more.
“Wow, thanks. I didn’t know we even had food.”
“Oh, no, we didn’t. You passed out early last night and I knew you would be hungry, so I went out after we got here to get some stuff.”
She did that for me?
“Shut up, Harry. It’s breakfast.” She just laughed lightly, knowing I was going to say she didn’t have to do that. But I actually think she wanted to. I always knew Anna liked taking care of people, she likes things to be orderly, ‘perfect’. I wish I could tell her that she doesn’t have to try and make everything perfect, that she’s jsut as amazing and beautiful and special to me even without all of that. But it was one of those things about her that I wasn’t sure how to talk about or really even understand. Yet.
“Sit, i’ll get you some tea.” She scurried around the kitchen in those tiny shorts, making my head spin and my mouth go dry. Finally, when everything was to her liking, we ate togehter at the tiny temporary kitchen table that barely fit the two of us. But it was the most incredible morning, the most incredible moment. And I think that if I was able to have a couple more of these moments with Anna, maybe she would be able to see me as the guy she knew last year, the guy she used to love, the one she could trust.
“Do you have this one?” I asked, holding up a CD. For some reason, both Anna and I still had a pretty large collection of CD’s, although they’re rarely used and all downloaded onto the computer. I think it’s sort of a security blanket, something we keep for no other reason other than we want to.
She rummaged through one of the boxes, pulling out a case identical to the one I held up.
“Yours loks nicer, we’ll keep that one out.” We were going through them all, trying to find duplicates, ones that are in the wrong case, or things we don’t want to keep. Basically, I was sort of a slob in this way, I never really organized stuff like this, while Anna catagorized everything; i’m pretty sure she put things into the kitchen in alphabetical order.
“This one can go in the storage box.” She ordered, adding my CD to the pile that we were planning to keep out. But seriously, why are we organizing CD’s?! It’s not like anyone even used CD’s, we are both very aware of that.
“You think any of these will ever get used even once?” I asked.
“Nope. But think about how cool and musically well-rounded we’ll look to people. Plus, with your small record collection, we’ll look sooooo cool. All your hipster friends will totally let you into their secret poetry slam club now.” She giggled, joking sarcastically. But I wasn’t going to argue with her, because we were having fun.
* * *
So, it’s Day Four and things are starting to fall into place. Harry has been much more resourceful and handy around the house than I expected. He’s helped hang pictures, assembled my IKEA bookshelf and closet shelves, he managed to figure out how to setup the DVR and Apple TV boxes in all of the rooms, plus he managed to be most helpful when it came to tall shelves, light bulbs, and hanging blinds. And not only was a ton getting done and this place was starting to feel more and more like a home, I also got the added bonus of seeing him lift heavy stuff and be all manly and sexy… Yeah, I was embarrassing myself with my own thoughts. But jesus, did he really not see how much of an effect he had on me?! I mean, I’ve caught myself staring, practically drooling, on more than one occasion. But I never dared make a move. Not like this, not now. Harry has just let me move in with him. He gave me the big bedroom! He fixes things! He sits on the floor for three hours organizing CD and DVD collections! He was reeling me back in, little by little, I could feel it happening. God, I wanted him. I really did. But something was still holding me back, some sort of wall still surrounding me, a voice in my head telling me to stay away, that he couldn’t possibly be this guy, the one I knew before my life fell apart. This was the same guy who took home a different girl every night for about three months. But, on the other hand, this was Harry.
So, when I started thinking like this, I forced myself to focus on something else. Like the fact that we still needed basic household items, like more than two plates, two sets of utensils, and a single roll of paper towels.
NotesSo, not actually a real chapter, but, It's better than nothing, right? I really did want to be able to post a real chapter, but it just didn't end up happening. The past 2 weeks have been SO busy. Also, tomorrow is Prom, and this upcoming week is my last week of High School ever, and I have an In-Class Essay, a test, and 2 papers.... so yeah....
But anyway, sorry for the life story that you don't care about haha. I just hope you enjoy this short little chapter and I just really want to say thank you for reading, keeping up witht eh story, being patient, and being nceo. You're all great <3