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Save Your Heart

Chapter 12


My car had never felt more claustrophobic than it does right now. I gripped the wheel with both hands, doing my best to keep my eyes on the road. But it was close to impossible, thanks to the person sitting next to me. Anna hadn’t said much, just asked a few questions, switching the radio stations like she always used to. She was always so indecisive about what she wanted to listen to. She would start one song, and then switch half way through. If it were anyone else, I would’ve been annoyed out of my mind. But it was Anna.

“Is it even possible to find a station that isn’t playing your music? Or, like, your friend’s music?” She laughed, letting Ed’s new song play out. I smirked, glancing over at her from the corner of my eye. She looked amazing; all crazy blonde hair and legs and big sparkling blue eyes. I needed to concentrate on something else or I was going to lose it.

“So, I have like, four places to look at today. That alright?”

“Yeah, I have nowhere to be.”

“Good, then I get you all to myself.” She looked over at me, but I didn’t meet her gaze. I didn’t want her to know how aware I was of how that sounded.

We drove for a bit longer, finally parking along a quiet street. I had thought about hiring someone to do all this work for me, but I really did want to pick out my own place. Plus, it was actually kind of interesting. We did, however, have someone who was going to show us around each place. His name was Howard.

“Hi Harry! Good to see you.” Howard stepped out the door of the brownstone building, a leather binder in his hands.

“Hey Howard. This is my- um, this is Anna.” He stuck out a hand, shaking hers.

“I’m just along for some help, getting a second opinion and all.” She said sweetly.

“Well, let’s get started. This place is the best deal out of all four we’re gonna be looking at.”

He showed us through the kitchen, living room, 2 bedrooms, ‘One and a half’ bathrooms (I still wasn’t sure what half a bathroom was…), plus a media room and small patio area. But, Anna pointed out that when you were sitting outside, you looked right into a lot of peoples windows, plus the appliances were kind of old. I was trusting her, so we decided to just go to the next place.

- -

Hours later, we finally arrived at flat #4. It was in a slightly more ‘urban’ area of London, those were Howard’s words. Which, didn’t really make sense since technically everything in London is ‘urban’, considering it’s a city. But I got what he meant. As we drove up to the building, we passed by coffee shops, bookstores, people selling art on the streets.

“This is a nice neighborhood.” Anna commented.

“Yeah, seems cool.” Plus, it was much closer to everyone else than any of the other places have been.

Stepping out, Howard was already waiting for us on the front steps of a stone building.

“This one is a bit different. It’s not in an apartment complex, it’s 3-story home with a lovely outdoor wrap around patio, I think you’re really going to like it. I should warn you, it’s just a bit out of the price range we discussed.”

“How much out of the range?” I asked, suddenly nervous. I wasn’t great with that type of stuff. How would I know if this guy was screwing me over?

“Let’s just take a look inside and discuss numbers later.” He smiled, unlocking the heavy iron door, leading us into a small foyer. There were dark hardwood floors, white walls, and you could already see tons of light streaming in from large windows in the other rooms. He showed us a Library/Media room, a living room which had a fireplace, bay window and enough space to fit a nice big couch, and maybe even that pool table I was looking at the other day. He led us into the kitchen, which had all stainless steel appliances, a huge marble island, a sunlight window up above, and a small breakfast nook. There were some other things on the first floor, a three car garage, laundry room and a ‘mudroom; (whatever the hell that was).

“Ready to take a look upstairs?” Howard asked.

“Lead the way, mate.” I trailed behind Anna, wondering what her silence meant. She hadn’t siad much at any of the places we’ve visited, just a few things about crown molding and other shit that might as well be a second language to me. I wanted her opinion, that’s why I had brought her. Why wouldn’t she talk to me?

“Here’s a guest room, complete with it’s own toilet right through there. We have 2 other rooms that can be used as an office, and other bedroom, whatever you like. Then, right down here is the main bedroom. Very spacious, walk-in closet, large bathroom, a door that goes right out to the patio…” I looked around, taking it all in. Howard hadn’t been lying, this place was really nice. it wasn’t too big or showy, but it had enough space for parties, it was in a great location, it was pretty much everything I had been looking for.

“I’ll give you two a moment, I’ll be right downstairs. I’ve got to make a quick call.” Howard brushed past me and out the door. I think he could tell Anna was keeping quiet for his benefit.

“What’re you thinking?” I asked, standing in front of her so she had nowhere to look but right at me.

“Um, i’m thinking that… this place is perfect for you. I can see you living here.” He forced smile and the look in her eyes let me know something was wrong.

“Okay, now tell me what you’re actually thinking?” She grinned slightly. Good, very good, I was making progress.

“I don’t know, Harry.. this is a lot to take in. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you’re really moving, that you can live in a place like this, that you’re not gonna be with the rest of the boys… I guess I just suck at change. I’m sorry, I’m really screwing up this day for you. This should be fun, and exciting! And it is. I guess for me, it’s just a little bittersweet.”

I sighed out of frustration of myself. I really should’ve thought this through more. And now, thanks to my own stupidity, I’d ruin my day with Anna.

“I understand…” I said quietly. And I really did, I wasn’t even sure I was ready for this kind of chance. But I felt like it was something I had to do, it would help me to grow up.

She went to sit on the window seat, and I couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to have Anna with me, here, in this house. To wake up next to her every day, to be able to see her getting ready in that big fancy bathroom, to cook with her in the kitchen, watch movies together at night and sit out on that patio and just talk. It sounded amazing, much better than having this big place all to myself. That just sounded completely depressing.

“This place is amazing though, seriously. It’s perfect for you.” She looked up at me with a small smile on her face.

I took a deep breath, really thinking about the next words that came out of my mouth, it was important that I got this right. “Okay, I’m gonna say something, and I want you to really think about it before you respond, alright?” Anna’s eyebrows shot up.

“Um, okay.”

“What would you think about, maybe staying here? With me? Just, I mean, I’m not only asking you this because I know you need a stable place to stay. I’m asking because I want to. Really. And, it doesn’t have to mean anything big for, you know, like, for ‘us’. You can sleep in here, I’ll take the other room. Or whatever, anything you want. I just, I don’t want you to always be in limbo, going from one place to another. You deserve a stable home. A place like this, you know? I want you to have that.” When I paused for a brief moment, Anna was looking at me intensely I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. “- And don’t feel like you have to answer me now! Actually, you probably shouldn’t answer me now. Take some time, think about it. I mean, we don’t even know if I can get this place yet. But, it doesn’t even have to be here. Wherever I end up- this offer still stands! But, like I said, think about it. That’s all I’m asking.” Finally, I stopped to take a breath. Her gaze on me still didn’t falter. Her hands were wrung together in her lap and she was biting her bottom lip, which I knew she did when she was really thinking hard about something.

“Um. Wow. Wow…. I don’t really know what to say. But, Thank you. Really, I appreciate it. And, um… I will definitely think about it.” She didn’t meet my gaze at first and I was glad. I didn’t want her to know how surprised I was. I was thinking that I might have to talk her into just doing that. But she decided it all on her own, with no persuasion from me. This made me smile.

“-Alright, so, what are we thinking?!” Howard came strolling back in, popping the bubble that it felt as if Anna and I had just been in together. We both stood up quickly, facing him.

I looked over at Anna, who was smiling at me.

“I’d really love to make an offer.”

* * *


Harry’s offer stayed in my mind all day and all night. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Which was good, because that is what he had asked me to do. I wondered if it would be awkward, if it would bring us closer together, or further apart. Would he get annoyed if I forgot to put out the recycling or if I left the TV on or if I played my music too loud? Or, would being with him all the time be as amazing as I wanted to believe it could be? Because even though a tiny little part of me couldn’t forget about how much he hurt me, I still cared about him so much and wanted to be around him as much as possible. I just had no idea if he felt the same. And not even an offer to live together could prove that to me. Honestly, I don’t know what could. I guess, time. We just needed time together, to heal and figure each other out again.

I had been tossing and turning for hours, trying to make my thoughts slow down and find a comfortable sleeping position. But, no such luck. So, instead, I got up and decided to raid Perrie’s kitchen pantry. I walked down the hall as quietly as possible, knowing Zayn was here and they were most likely either asleep or doing…other things. But, when I got to the kitchen, I saw Perrie sitting on the counter in her pajamas, wearing a face mask, and eating a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.

“What are you doing?” I laughed, trying to whisper.

“Clearing my pores.” She said at a normal tone.

“Where’s Zayn?”

“Asleep. But we don’t have to be quiet, nothing can wake him up, trust me.”

“Cool. Mind if I join?” She shook her head, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet over her head, I found myself a spoon and the milk and box of cereal.

“So, what’s got you up at 4 AM?” She asked.

“Well, it’s sort of a long story, and I think you might die of shock when I tell you…” She widened her eyes in excitement and I tired to focus instead of laughing at how insane she looked at the moment. “So, you know how I went with Harry to look at new houses today?” She nodded, her mouth full. “- Well…. We found this one place that’s really nice, completely perfect for him. And, uh, I was getting all emotional about everything changing with him moving or whatever. And he, uh, offered to let me move in with him.”

I swear, she almost choked to death. So, after a few seconds of violent coughing and sipping water from the kitchen sink, she was able to respond.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT DID YOU SAY? DID YOU SAY YES?! Not that, like, I’m trying to get you outta here. I just lovveeee you guys together and he’s so sad without you and OH. MY. GOD. this would be the cutest thing ever!!”

I laughed, the squealing and facemask along with the coughing fit made this entire situation impossible to take seriously.

“Yeah, that’s definitely gonna wake up Zayn.” I commented.

“Whatever, shut up and answer me!”

“Well, I said I would think about it.”

“And, you have. And what did you decide?!” She was hopping up and down, swinging her feet like an excited little kid.

“I…don’t…know.” It was the truth. As annoying as it was.

“I get that. And don’t let my bias force you to do anything. Like I said, you’re more than welcome to stay here. I can just tell, that you want something more. Like, more stable, more real, just…more.”

“Jesus, why are you so damn smart?!” I groaned, she just laughed and shrugged. “Thanks for the cereal, i’m gonna go attempt to fall asleep.”

“Me too. After a clean off this green goo, wouldn’t want to scare Zayn when he wakes up with this all in his face.” She giggled, jumping off the counter and following me into the hall.

“Thanks for everything, Perrie. Really.”

“No need to thank me, it’s what friends do.”

And although I loved Perrie for saying this, it made me think about something else entirely. Was that why Harry was doing this? because he wanted to be friends? Was there any possible way that Harry and I could ever be friends? Did I want to?

No, can’t think about stuff like that right now. No one’s mind is working properly at 4 AM. I’d save all that drama for tomorrow.


Woot woot !! it didn’t take me 284757492 years to update with this chapter, i’m making such an improvement !!! I think this chapter, although seems slightly less significant than others, is really where things are gonna kick off. LOTS of things… i’m quite excited about it, if you couldn’t tell.

So, get excited for that, I know I am.

Also, PLEASE let me know what you thought of this chapter / ideas or suggestions / predictions on what you think Anna is gonna say and what’s gonn happen, predictions are alwyas fun :)

Thank you so much for reading and for the awesome response i’ve gottne for the story so far, it just motivate me to want to write more (and faster).

In case you didn’t see what I said in my post of the last chapter of Show Me The Way, I decided to alternate posting for my fics. So, I won’t be posting the new chapter to this fic until I write and update the next chapter of my Zayn fic. Which honestly, i don’t think will be long at all.


Are you okay? Your really scaring me!! You havent updated in like forever! Im really worried? Are you alright!?

Update!!! Im dying!!!

i just updated on my blog !!!!!!! notarealhipster.tumblr.com

im going to try and update it on here now but it's been glitchy so it might not work. but you can go read it there :)