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My Heart Skips A Beat

Chapter 14

Rain was pattering down on the windows, the nearly dark sky covered in a sheet of grey clouds. But it didn’t matter, I was more than happy to not leave this house until Harry and I were going to be forced to return to real life come Sunday. But for now, it was like we were wrapped in this cocoon, in this world where we were the only two people who existed.
I was sitting on the couch, the fireplace crackling, watching Harry pour a package of pasta into a boiling pot of water.
“You’re quite the chef over there” I joked as he came to sit next to me. He just gave a soft laugh, his arm finding its way around my waist, my head nuzzling into the crook of is neck. “Is it bad that we’re acting like an old married couple on our wild un-parental advised Saturday night in?” I asked.
“I don’t think so. I quite like it actually. Everything’s been so crazy lately, this is good. Plus, I get you all to myself.”
I smiled as I watched the orange flames flicker, casting shadows around the room.
“Hmmm, good point.” I felt Harry’s fingers tracing patterns on the inside of my wrist, causing an insane tingling sensation throughout my whole body. I giggled softly.
“I’m a little ticklish…”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He said in his perfectly deep, husky voice. It sounded slightly suggestive, without also being vulgar. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I responded absentmindedly.
“It’s about what you said earlier, in the car? I don’t mean to ruin this but I just can’t get it out of my head. About you and your parents…” I knew he was hung up on that, I could just tell.
“I know it’s weird Harry, trust me. But I don’t know what to tell you.”
“I just don’t understand-“
“What is there to understand?” I asked, not wanting to be having this conversation.
“ I don’t understand how you say you love me when it seems as if you’re not sure what love is.” That made me stop. It wasn’t what I had expected him to say at all. And the worst part was that he was so right.
“I just, know. I can’t explain it. It just feels right. Like, I can be myself with you…like, I’m not self-conscious or scared, the way I am with a lot of people. And maybe that’s all love is; someone you feel like you can be your true self with. So I guess you’re right, I may not really know what love is because this is a whole new thing for me. But I do know that they way I feel about you is like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life.” Harry must’ve liked my answer, because before I knew what was happening his lips were on mine and his hands were clutching my waist and my hands were in his hair and everything was moving at warped speed.
“I love you so much”, he said in a low breathy voice.
“I love you too.” His fingers stroked my bare skin, causing me to shiver. I had said to myself yesterday that I was ready for whatever this weekend may bring, and I was. I really was.
“I want you, Harry.” I whispered in his ear. I was sitting top of him, one leg on either side, straddling his waist. He looked at me with hungry eyes, licking his lips.
“I want you so much.” He responded. I felt his grip around me tighten as he trailed kisses down my neck, all the way to the neckline of my top. My heartbeat was so fast against my chest, I’m sure he could hear and feel it.
“It’s okay, calm down. This is just you and me.” He said, taking my hands in his.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m just- scared.”
“I’ll be gentle, I’ll never hurt you.” The way he said it, the way he looked right in my eyes, I knew he was telling me the truth. And although I was nervous, it wasn’t because of Harry. It was just me over thinking everything in my own head. If anything, he made it all easier.
His gentle movements were comforting, as I laid down on the couch. He hovered over me, distributing his weight evenly by leaning his elbows on either side of my head. His lips were only about a centimeter away from mine when suddenly we heard something from the kitchen.
“Shit!” Harry said, leaping up to turn off the stove, where the pasta was boiling over. I giggled as he mopped up the water with a rag.
“Um, it’ll still be good I think.” He said.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”

After what had almost happened earlier, I couldn’t concentrate on anything the rest of the night. We ate dinner together on the couch with the TV on, talking and having a good time. But, as much as I wanted to be, I wasn’t all there. I’m not sure I could admit this to anyone, but I was scared, in a way. I was scared that Anna wasn’t as ready as she seemed. I was scared that if we had sex, it would push her away. But mostly I was scared of how I feel, because even though I may have said it to other girls in the past, I’ve never loved anyone the way I love Anna.
“Harry?” She said, forcing me out of my head.
“What’s wrong? You’re like, really out of it.”
“Sorry babe, I was just thinking.”
“Bout what?”
“Nothing major…” lie.
“You tired?” She asked, running her fingers down my arm.
“A little, you?”
“Hmmm….” She continued trailing her fingers up and down my arm which, to be frank, was driving me insane in the best way possible. I kept my eyes fixed on the TV, trying to keep myself under control. Which was close to impossible when she was doing this to me.
“Harry?” I looked down at her. “I’m gonna go get ready for bed, mmkay?” I nodded, watching her get up, grab her bag, and go into the bathroom. I took my bag into the only bedroom in the house, pulling off my shirt. I felt nervous for some reason. Which you wouldn’t think would happen, seeing as this wasn’t exactly my first time sleeping in the same bed with a girl. But, along with everything else I’ve ever done with Anna, it felt different. Like it was more important in some way. I sat down on the edge of the bed, my head falling into my hands.
“You okay?” I heard her voice say from the door. I looked up to see this picture of perfection standing in front of me. She was wearing a pair of tiny shorts and a loose-fitting tank top. She had pulled her hair out of it’s messy ponytail so it fell everywhere, the way I always liked it. Her blue eyes were sparkling in the low light that cast over the whole room from only the moon outside, and a playful smile played on her lips. I could do nothing but stare. Neither of us said a word as she came over to where I sat, pushing me back onto the bed, crawling on top of me. I had never seen this side of Anna before, this dominant part of her, and I had to say I liked it quite a lot. She kissed me, pulling away after only a few seconds, leaving me wanting more. I let her kiss me once more, as I just lie there, until I had to do something or I was going to go crazy. I flipped over, so suddenly I was lying on top of her, both of our breathing heavy. I ran one hand down her cheek, taking in every inch of her features, wanting to make this moment as perfect as possible for her.
“You’re, so beautiful.” I heard myself say. Anna blushed, her eyes casting downwards. I carefully moved my hand down further to the edge of her shirt, wondering if she was going to stop me. But she didn’t. She sat up, allowing me to pull off her shirt. I pulled her close to me so we were now skin-to-skin, as she kissed down my neck, my chest, all the way to where the band of my boxers showed above my jeans. She looked up at me as she swiftly unzipped my jeans. I kissed her again as I felt her fingers graze the area where me boxers were getting a little…tight, a small gasp escaping my throat. I felt her soft laugh against my lips.
“You think you’re funny, huh?” I said in a whisper.
“Maybe a little.”
“Hmmm, we’ll see.” This was the last thing either of us said before we just let everything happen the way it was supposed to. I prayed that I hadn’t hurt her too much, that it had been good for her. The only thing that might’ve told me that it was was the way she fell asleep afterwards; a small smile on her perfectly angelic face as she snuggled up next to me, her eyes fluttering closed.

It was 5:30 Sunday morning when the first few rays of sunlight hit my face, breaking my out of a deep, content sleep. For the second time in my life, I woke up next to Harry. I recounted what had happened last night, expecting to feel more nervous or scared than I had. He was incredible; he was so gentle, and sweet. He would whisper thing in my ear the whole time; how much he loved me, asking if I was okay, if it hurt too much. It was everything every girl wanted her first time to be like. And I felt like the luckiest person in the world. I wouldn’t have one of those tragic, terrible ‘first time’ stories to be forced to look back on for the rest of my life. I’ll always remember it as one of the best nights of my life, with a guy who changed everything for me.
I wanted to just stay in bed, nuzzled against Harry. But eventually I had no choice but to get up and go into the bathroom. I pulled on Harry’s t-shirt that hit to about the top of my thighs. When I got into the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror. Mostly because it seems like that’s what every girl does in movies and stuff after she loses her virginity. She goes and looks in the mirror and suddenly she like, feels like a woman or something. But it wasn’t like that. I looked the same, felt the same. On the outside, everything was the usual. But I knew deep down, I was a little different. If anything, what we did last night only made me feel closer to Harry.
I tiptoed back into the bedroom where Harry was still fast asleep., crawling back into bed, loving how warm it was under the duvet. I resumed my previous position next to Harry and felt him squirm a little, turning towards me.
“That might be the best nights sleep I’ve ever had in my life.” He said, his eyes misty with sleep.
“I think you might be right about that.”
“So everything was- I mean, you’re okay-“
“It was perfect, Harry. No regrets.” He smiled, pulling me against his chest. “Not one.”


@notarealhipster Who do you imagine anna as?


I'm from the US, outside of Philly :)
Where are you from? My side of the pond (United States) or the other one?
I love this story it's my favorite one I've read so far! :)