Does he know?

“YOU WHAT?” they both exclaimed. I felt a lump in my throat. I took a deep breath as I tried to explain the situation.. " Girls I need you to understand me even if I know it's difficult. When you went to the city last night I went in to talk to Zayn and well let's say things changed qucikly"

"WITH ZAAAAAAAAYN?" Soph shouted

"Shhhhh shhhhhhhhhh" I said trying to calm her down.

"I don't know what happened I totally lost control of myself. I explained him that I was sorry and hoped he could forgive me and before I knew it we were making out"

“OMG WAS IT WITH ZAYN I CAN’T BELIEVE IT” Soph shouted loudly. El was also about to say something but I interrupted her “DON'T tell anyone anything! If Harry hears it he'll kill me and Zayn!"

“How could you? I didn’t know you would do it to Harry!” El said loud enough for everyone to hear it. I asked her to keep it low and that I just did it without even thinking about it.

“I actually tried to stop him” I added.

“Which didn’t go succesfully” they both said at the same time.

“Wow Annabelle I’m lost for words. Are you in love with him, like do you prefer him instead of Harry?”

“I don’t know El I really don’t. My mind has been a mess since Zayn came. Everything was perfect untill he kissed me. I just felt something..”

“You did?” El asked looking all shockly at me. “ Then maybe it’s meant to be. Omg I bet it’s totally meant to be” she said sounding supportly and almost glad that I cheated on Harry.

“Well I still prefer you being with Harry I can’t really picture you and Zayn together but maybe it’s because you friend zonet him from the very beginning" Sophdddd said.

“WAS” El corrected her. We all laughed. I have no idea how we possibly could be laughing in this situation.
“Are you going to tell it to Harry?” Soph asked.

“Well.. Someday but not yet. I’m not emotionally ready for it and I think his head and mind need rest too”

“Good idea.. I think you should wait. Or just pretend it never happened” El suggested. She knew exact what to say.

“But how come you cheated. Like did you guys only kiss or do you have more juicy details?” El joked and Soph laughed at her question.

“We kissed.. and kind got to “part two”. You know what I mean girls. But seriosly I don't know why we're acting like this or how I could do it to Harry. Please don't judge me I feel so bad when I think of the whole Harry-Zayn-Me situation" I admitted.

They both nodded as they ate their food suddenly someone interrupted us again.

“Ready for today dear?”

I recognized the raspy voice – Harry.

“Uhm what?” I was lost.

“Yeah you remember? We’re going to visit my parents how could you forget that?” he looked disappointed.

How could I NOT forget it..?!

“Oh of course I remember that” I answered. I was literally lying straight to my boyfriends face.
“Well great then. Be ready in an hour our bus is coming half 12 “ he said planting a kiss on my lips and then going with his rommie.

“Girls I have to go packing I forgot everything about the trip” I walked away as they both sent me a anxiety kind of look.

----

“Why are you packing?” Zayn asked

“ Im going to meet Harry parents wich I forgot everything about”

“Oh don’t forget some dirty underwear” he joked

“Stop Zayn, im acutally nervous to meet them.

“Just make sure you wont scream my name instead of his”

"Zayn cut it off" I laughed at his silly joke as he walked towards me. He hugged me and once again our lips met each other... Why couldn't I resist him?

“STOP” I exlamied and stopped the kiss. “ I cant do this”

“Your lips are telling differently” he tried to cajole me. He grabbed my ass with his left hand, placing his right on the back of my head. “ You’re such a great kisser why didn’t I do this before”

“Zayn I thought you were a good guy”

“I'm from Bradbord that explains everything” he said kissing my neck.

“ I really have to hurry” I said even though I enjoyed his kisses.

“Give me five minutes” he said kissing me harder.

I slapped his hand, “get away from me, I’ve fucked things up enough already.

Then someone knocked on the door – “ Ann are you ready?”

"Fuck I have to go Harry is waiting", I grabbed my bag. I took one last look at Zayn then I bursted out in laughter.

“ What?” he said shyly. “ At least try to hide your bonie before going somewhere”
I left Zayn standing all read in his face covering his lower part.

“Why are you laughing”? Harry asked in the bus.

“Oh nothing.. It’s just Zayn” . I caught myself blushing while saying his name. God damn what was wrong with me!? - “What about him?” he smiled. " Oh nothing, long story".

The trip was so awkward I kept thinking of Zayn and our behaviour. Why where we so childish. Why did we kiss each other even though we knew it would fuck our friendship up and even though we both knew Harry would kill us both and never talk with us again?

“Are you nervous love, you don’t say much?” Harry suddenly asked out of nowhere. I took a deep look at him, I looked at his smile and his eyes. His eyes sparkled, his dimples were showing. It was cleraly that he was excited to interduce me to his parents, to come home again. I was such an idiot for doing shitty things behind his back. I was the worst girlfriend on earth and I didn't derserve him. For a moment I wanted to confess everything, to tell the truth. To break down in front of him, tell him how much I love him but that I cleraly don't value the special things I have in life.

But instead I ignored the truth and answered " Yeah I am nervous but still excited to meet your parents" as I kissed him to make him and myself relax a little bit. Even though I loved his kisses to bits I didn't feel the same way as I did before I kissed Zayn.
Fuck.
---


I politely said hi to Harrys parents who looked happy to see me. They both had style and didnt look as old as I thought. His mother was sweet and his father asked a lot of questions about future, hobbys, dreams etc. You could tell he was a serious man with goals and he only wanted the best for his son. We had finished our meal and agreed to watch some TV.

“Harry I have to talk to you” I whispered.

“Mom, dad I’m just going to show Annabelle our room” he said and grabbed my hand as he walked me to the guest room..

“What’s up?”

“Well I know you’ve missed your parents a lot and you’ve been dying to see them again. The problem is that I don’t feel well. I’ve been feeling sick since I woke up and I just want to go home and .. Sleep and you know .. Get well" I said looking at him with my puppy eyes. I was ready to hear him go crazy, I was ready to hear him yelling at me telling I was the worst girlfriend on earth. But surprisingly he stayed calm. “ It’s okay love I understand you and I’m sure my parents do too. They like you just so you know” he said giving me a warm hug. I apologized to his parents, thanked them for a lovely day and before I knew it I was on the bus on my way back to college.
----

I went to me and Zayn’s room. Surprisingly he was doing his homework.. on a Thursday night. (the teachers were at a course so we had some days off)
“No party tonight?” I said while placing my stuff on the bed.
“Nope, just wanna finish my song and then watch movies with Liam” he answered not really looking at me.
“Song? What song?”

“Well you know I write songs.. When I have something on my mind.. Or someone” he smirked. “Besides, I need ideas for my song perfomance . You know everyone’s going to write a song and sing it infront of the school?”

“Shit I forgot everything about that!" I shouted. I sat beside the desk and took a deep breath.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why I’m doing this. But the thing i'm wondering about is why YOU are doing this. You’ve always been the good guy and you made peace with Harry then why are you trying to seduce me and everything?”
He closed his laptop.
“Look at me Annabelle” He was death serious. I did as he said. His eyes could hypnotize everyone.
“ I love you both to death. Yeah I am the good guy but what happens when you piss on the good guy and take him forgranted? I kissed you yesterday to see if you would kiss back which you did. You didn’t hesitate and yeah it surprised me because I thought you were totally in love with Harry. All I wanted was to see it with my own eyes. I want you to confess that you truly madly deeply still are in love with him despite the fact that we slept together?

I could sense he waited for an answer. Once again I took a deep breath, over analyzing every word I wanted to say. “To be honest I myself thought that I was truly madly deeply in love with Harry untill we started kissing. I don’t know why I didn’t stop you. I liked it. I don’t wanna lie anymore I’m sick of lying. It felt good being with you.”
I got lost for words. I wanted to break down but Zayn just smiled.

What?” I asked.

“Nothing it’s just.. I knew you deep down felt something for me.”

“To be honest I’ve always find you attractive but I’ve never thought of us getting together” I confessed.

“You friend-zoned me which is understandable but I always get out of the friend zone” he answered and got up from the desk.

Don’t you feel bad for doing this to Harry. Be honest?

“Harry knew from the very beginning that I fancied you but he ignored it. Liam told him so many times but he was too caught up in you. I kept telling myself you would pick the guy you loved. I thought you would pick me. You didn’t. When I left the school I acutally lost some feelings for you but when I saw you again I completely fell in love all over again with you so I just had to kiss you and see how it would go”.

“I went as planned right?” I sat beside him on his bed.

“Yeah” he smiled innocentely, blushing a little too.
How could he give me that look when he isn’t innocent at all!?

"Annabelle." He said as he took a deep breath. "I’m not begging you to pick me instead of Harry. I’m just asking you to reconsider your relationship. You bascially cheated on him yesterday “.

“Thanks for reminding me” I said with sarcasm.

"Auch don’t be so rough. Why are you even here anyway aren’t you supposed to be at Harry’s place?”

“I kind of lied to get rid of him. I cant be with him right now. I have to think”

“You sure have to. I’m going to Liams, be back at midnight or so”

“Just so you know.. I told El and Soph about our .. episode” I said as he walked towards the door.

"Fine but don't tell Louis anything yet he'll freak out, tell it to Harry and then we're screwed” He sent me a smile and closed the door

And once again I was confused as hell, filled up with thoughts and feelings about this whole thing..

Notes