Little Things and Angel Wings
Author: DirectionDreamer
Rate: 2

The first things I noticed were spelling errors. Many words had one or two letters off from the correct spelling, so try to go through and correct those if you can. If you don’t know how to spell a word, get a dictionary or type it out on Microsoft Word (if you have it) and it will spell check for you.

I also noticed quite a few run-on sentences and sentence fragments (incomplete sentences) and choppy sentences. There were just a lot of grammar errors in general, but it’s not as bad as most ‘who tipe lik dis u no?’ <- That would be annoying, but you didn’t do that bad, I just don’t feel like going through and pointing out all the tiny mistakes.

Although not required, nor necessary, you should consider spacing out the paragraphs with a whole line of space like I have done. It makes the paragraphs easy to depict and your story easier to read. You had some of this, but it needs to be more consistent.

I got confused during the second chapter. Was there a time skip there, because all of sudden the woman who put wings on him is like his second mother? Like, what the hell? She just made you a hybrid against your will and now you think she’s your mom? Just, no.

Then, all of sudden the scenes just keep on skipping and I’m getting more and more confused. When I get confused, I stop reading, so I did. There is either (a) too many gaps or (b) not enough detail, because there are things missing that are making me confused.

I think if you cleared up some holes, I might actually like your story, but I hadn’t read far enough due to my confusion to know what the rest of the story is like. It’s not that I hate your story, I just don’t understand it.

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If you found this review to be disappointing, I'm can't say I'm sorry. As I said, I am a brutally honest person, or so people tell me. If you would like me to take this down, I will, just ask me. Don't bitch about it either; I don't care what you think, I'm just telling you what I think. Don't get mad, you asked for it. Don't rate this badly just because you don't like what I say. But on the off chance you like what I'm telling you, I'm glad you could learn something from me.

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