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Last One Standing

Chapter Fifty

*Hannah’s POV*

I looked down at the fully clothed boy lying in the bed in front of me. You could still see how red and puffy his eyes were and I had worked hard to pry myself from his arms this morning. It was almost noon, but I hadn’t gotten very much sleep anyways. I’d been up since around six and Haley had called at about nine.

“Hey Hannah, do you wanna go out for some lunch later?” She sounded so upbeat. I silently wondered if she had been up as long as I had been.

“Um… I’m kind of dealing with something right now.”

“Yeah, I know, but I still would really love if we could hang out.” Her voice was sympathetic.

“What?”

“It got around to all the boys last night, I’m pretty sure.” My face hardened and my muscles tensed. Why the hell was it any of their business?

“So Harry told everyone?” I didn’t bother hiding my anger.

“Whoa Hannah, cool down. I’m not sure if everyone knows, but Zayn heard it from Louis.” That made a whole lot more sense. Harry tells Lou everything, and Louis’ a bit of a loud mouth. I looked down at Harry again, feeling bad that I had doubted him in the first place.

“Sure, Haley, lunch sounds amazing, haven’t eaten all morning.”

“Harry not awake yet?”

“Only stirred when I tried to get out of bed.”

“So I’ll pick you up this afternoon?”

“Sure thing!” I let her hear the smile on my face before I hit ‘end’ on my mobile.

Now I sat in my egg chair, knees pulled to my chest. Some paper and a pen rested on my knees as I wrote out a note for Harry to wake up to. I felt slightly bad as I peered over the paper to the sleeping boy in my bed. His body looked so restful while his face looked so uneasy – restless even.

Harry,
Don’t freak out. It was noon and you still weren’t up, but – after last night – I didn’t want to wake you when I saw that you were actually getting some sleep. Would you mind dropping off the package for my mum? You can write her a note too if you want JI went out for lunch with Haley and I’ll be back soon.
xoxo Hannah <3

I folded the paper so that it stood up and set it down on the bed side. Feeling my mobile vibrate in my pocket, I pulled it out of my pocket.

From: Haley
Out front
~ Haley ~

To: Haley
B right there
~ Hannah ~

With great care, I held my hair out of the way as I leaned down to kiss Harry’s cheek and didn’t even bother wiping off the lipstick marking. He’d probably take pleasure in finding it there when he got up. Smiling to myself, I realized that I felt normal. This is how Harry and I were supposed to be – late nights and lip stick, kissing and sweet good morning notes. Then I remembered where I was supposed to be headed and quickly left the apartment, being careful not to slam any doors.

The talk in the car on the way to lunch was just like our conversation had been this morning on the phone; light and upbeat. One great thing about Haley was the fact that she was so easy to talk to. You could never feel uneasy around her. My mind shortly drew back memories from the first night that I left the house. Even when I was breaking down on the outside, I almost wasn’t surprised that Harry had found himself with her – or so they had led me to believe. She makes everyone comfortable and I could have seen her with Harry if I wasn’t. Brushing the thoughts away, we lightly bantered all the way to the restaurant. A few cameras flashed as we walked into the restaurant, but we smiled and shrugged them off.

Once I realized that I was ordering half of the menu, I stopped my sentence and went back to cross off different parts of my order. The waitress walked away looking slightly confused, but Hay just laughed. There was something about her laugh that was contagious – maybe it was because when you really got her going, she ran out of breath and had to take one deep one at the end. We started talking off topic again and I prayed that this was really just to go out for lunch. When our conversation began to fizzle out, we both knew that it was time to start the grown up talk.

“So what are you going to do?” Her eyes were sympathetic, guiding me to respond. I looked away, feeling tears rise – was one or two months too early to be having mood swings and baby brain. “What are you thinking about?” I looked back to Haley who was gazing at me curiously.

“If it’s Harry’s, then what Marcus did is even more terrible – he could have hurt Harry’s baby.” My voice cracked and she urged my glass of water towards me, trying to keep me calm and get me to continue. “If it’s Marcus’ then I can’t keep it.” I furrowed my eyebrows and opened them to a solemn, hurt look washed over Haley’s face. “I can’t live with something that came from something like that – I can’t look at it everyday of my life and know that I didn’t conceive it with the man that I love. Instead it was with the man that I loath the most in this world. It’s a fifty/fifty chance and there’s a ninety percent chance that I’ll choose the wrong one, just because that’s what my luck has been looking like for the last… well forever.” I realized that my face had wandered away from Haley and that I was rambling. The instant halt to the babbling caused kind of an awkward silence. Looking back to Haley, I saw that she had her head faced towards the floor and she was playing with her fingers in her lap.

“Hannah, you can’t get rid of it. That’s a human life that you’re killing.” Her voice was shaky and I silently wondered why. What business was it of hers?

“Since when does everybody get a say in this except for me?” The words came out harsher than I meant for them too. Haley looked up from her hands with a hard glaze over her eyes.

“You have the biggest say of all – all mothers do. My mum… no one knows this,” she looked away from me and I could see the tears threatening to spill, “Hannah, my dad beat my mum and I, but when I was old enough to realize that he wasn’t just beating her…”My eyes got wide as I realized where she was going with this. Finally she met my wide eyed gaze. “If my mum had chosen what you are leaning towards right now… I might not be here. What if I came from… from that? What if she had chosen to get rid of me because she hated the man that made me?” My face fell and I felt water filling my eyes again.

“What if I’m not as strong as your mum?”

“Hannah, I’m not telling you what to do by any standards. This is totally your decision. The only reason that I wanted to bring you here today was to give you a little perspective is all. I’m a human life that could have been kept or thrown away. My mum had to be strong… It was me and her most of the time. She was all alone; you have all five boys, Eleanor, Emma and I that can all help and look out for you.” She took my hands across the table and stared so deep into my eyes that I thought it would be uncomfortable, but the emotion never came. How kind – and brave at that – did she have to be to be able to tell me something that she had told no one else?

A few more tears spilled over before they dried up. “Okay.” I nodded my head, smiling at the kind face in front of me. About that time, the waitress came back with our food and I gobbled it down faster than I probably should have. I looked up to see Hay holding back giggles. “What?” her laugh was contagious.

“You really are pregnant.” She said it so that I wouldn’t have heard it if I weren’t listening.

“Don’t mess with the pregnant chick.” From then on we easily bantered back and forth.

When we were both done eating, my mobile buzzed in my pocket:

From: Harry
Babe u can wake me up any time ;D
~ Harry ~

To: Harry
Don’t get 2 excited tigger
~ Hannah ~

From: Harry
Lmfao u spelled tiger wrong
~ Harry ~

To: Harry
Would’ve spelled it right but I was thinking more the character. Ur not as fierce as a tiger is.
~ Hannah ~

From: Harry
-_-
~ Harry ~

~

I stepped through the front door and closed it quietly behind me, balancing our coffee and my keys in my other hand. I heard the shower running and I looked at the drink holder in my hands, knowing that he probably wouldn’t be out in time for the coffee to still be warm, so I sat it in the fridge. Walking over to the bathroom door, I almost knocked on the door but his sweet voice through the door stopped me in my tracks:

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is gonna change
I close my eyes, begin to pray
That he’s my boy, tears stream down my face

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open

Well I don’t know if I’m ready
To be the man I have to be
I’ll take a breath, I’ll take her by my side
I’ll stand in awe, she created life

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything had changed
I’ll show you love
I’ll show you everything

With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I’ll show you everything, oh yeah
With arms wide open, wide open

If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he’s just like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I’ll show you love
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open

I’ll show you everything, oh yeah
With arms wide open, wide open


Even when he was done singing the song, he still hummed the tune as the water ran in the background. I had tears welling in my eyes since the first verse and by the end, they were flowing freely now and I was propping myself against the wall next to the door and had my arms folded over my stomach, ready to crumple to the floor. I tried to stay quiet, but was failing terribly.

“Hannah! Is that you?” I couldn’t help but smile at his concerned voice, but it didn’t help the hurt in my heart. The water turned off and I went to turn away from the door. I didn’t get three steps away when two tanned arms wrapped around me. Harry’s grip loosened as he realized that my sharp intake of breath was because of his surprise hold on me. “Baby, what’s wrong? Tell me.” He turned me to face him and I happily snuggled into his bare chest. My comfort was soon removed as Harry took me by the upper arms and held me away from him at arms length. “Hannah?” He went weak at the elbows and I instantly collapsed back into him.

“I can’t do this without you,” it came out as a cracking whisper as I cried into him. “Harry, I need you. I don’t care about anyone else, I just really need you.” With that, I was swept up into his arms and soon we were in bed – this seemed to be the hot spot where our talks took place.

Harry whispered into my ear and his breath tickled my neck. Normally I would’ve laughed, but now wasn’t really the time. He kissed my hair and we finally settled in together. “Hannah, you’re not going to do this alone. You have me and the boys and…”

“Harry, I don’t care. I mean… there’s a special place in my heart for all of them, but I need you. I can’t take going through this without you.”

“You won’t have to Hannah; you’ll never have to. As long as you want me, I’ll be right here next to you.” My back was against his chest and I turned my head so that I could see the emerald eyes looking back into mine. That’s where I found the most comfort – with Harry. The comfort was in his eyes and in his touch and in his kiss; it was in the way he held me and the way that he was careful and had let me take charge so that he wouldn’t scare me.

“I’ll always want you.”

“Then I’ll always be here.” I closed my eyes softly and drew a line across his jaw, bringing his lips close enough that I could feel his breath on my mouth. I paused to see what he would do with me so close. For a while I had been able to tell that he was holding back, but I knew why. With exquisite carefulness, I felt Harry’s lips brush mine, before capturing them in a passionate kiss. In that moment, I knew that I could do anything that Harry and my unborn child needed me to do, be anything that they needed me to be, as long as I was with Harry. He was my strength and I was unstoppable with him around. I could face anything life decided to throw at me.

In my sudden burst of confidence, I recaptured Harry’s lips as he tried to pull away. I could feel the slight hesitation in his touch as I nuzzled into his neck and began leaving soft pecks. We had tried things like this before, but it always made me nervous and we ended up stopping, but I was also nervous the first time that we kissed after it happened. We both just had to try. I kissed him again and went to run my hand through his hair, but not before he could grab my wrist and bring it back down to rest on his chest. Searching his face for answers, I finally found the one that I was looking for in his eyes. They were full of wonder, and seemed to be looking for validity in my actions. I knew that my look was pleading and he knew it too, because then his lips easily met mine, captivating me with every movement he made. His tongue brushed my bottom lip and I could’ve smiled at his asking permission. Gladly accepting him, I pulled my wrist from his grip and tightened a fist around the curls in the nape of his neck.

In this moment, all worries were gone, non existent. I felt totally safe as Harry allowed the hand that was holding my wrist fall to my waist. My other hand wrapped around his neck and held him in place against me. I pulled him in tighter, his bare chest against my fully clothed one. As his tongue left my mouth and the kisses got softer, I realized how much I had missed this, how little we had done since it happened and how patient he had been with me, even now. I could now pick out every difference between Marcus and Harry. Harry was so much gentler and much more worried about my comfort and not as much about his own.

He went to move off of the bed, but I grabbed his wrist and crawled over to him – ungracefully I might add – to have him chuckle playfully and pull from my grip. I gave him a pouty face and he looked at me quizzically.

“What are you pouting about?”

“Harry,” I stood up so that I was chest to chest – more like face to chest – with him and took a hold of his hands, “I miss this. I miss you.” I knew that he could tell what I was getting at, but God and everyone knew that he was going to act clueless about it anyways.

“What do you mean? I haven’t really left your side for the last who knows how long.” He wouldn’t meet my eyes, but I was yearning for the color that gave me strength. With both hands, I moved my fingers into Harry’s curls and tugged them to face me before I planted my lips on his. Our lips moved together for awhile before he took a hold of my wrists and stopped me once again.

“Why do you keep stopping this?”

“Hannah…” my eyes fell away from his face and landed on the floor as I prepared to interrupt him.

“Is it because of what he did to me?” It came out as a whisper and Harry’s hands loosened around my wrists. “Is it because now you’re not the only one that’s had…” I didn’t get the chance to finish my thought as I was being crushed against Harry’s chest.

“Hannah, don’t you ever think that.” We rocked slightly as we stood in place. “It’s not because I don’t want you; I really do – I stopped because I didn’t want to have to get back in the shower. I just don’t want to move too quickly, and that’s not because of what that bloke did to you. It’s because I don’t want to scare you or feel like I’m forcing you.” We sat back down on the bed, me still in his arms. “Hannah, when you’re ready, I’ll show you how it’s supposed to feel – not what he showed you – but until then, I can’t let myself get too excited. I have to stay level headed.”

We stayed sitting like this for awhile as I tried to calm my rapid breathing. “Hey Hannah, what do you say I get dressed and you go get your masquerade dress and let me have a look at it?” I sheepishly shook my head ‘no’ to which he gave me a rather curious look. “Why not? I’ll have to see it sometime. Don’t wanna be bidding on the wrong girl.” He winked at me and I flashed a smile back, knowing that he would be able to tell me apart from the others no matter what.

“You’ll know when you see me in it. Or you better, I’ll be a little hurt if you don’t.” I laughed afterwards and so did he. We both knew that he could pick me out of a crowd, but he didn’t know just how easy it would end up being.

Notes

You guys, my computers been down for forever and I've been outa town for like the last week too lol I'm sooooo sorry. I need lot's of feedback guys! It's my encouragement. I'm already done writing chapter 51, but I need to know how badly you guys want it before I can post :)
xoxo Hannah <3

Comments

so in love with this one !!! update soon!!!

@HannahBanana16
nope, sorry I'm terrible at that hahahahahah! I like the title already, do you know when you're going to update?

@abear44

any ideas on what my new title should be?

I'M SO OBSESSED PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!! <3333

Updateeeeee