Pulling my head together, all of the delayed pain and hurt hit me. The hurt of what Harry had done to me hit deep in my heart and the pain in my head made my stomach churn. I turned towards my door, grabbed my full length blanket off of my rocking chair, and walked into the kitchen, careful not to slam the door, and afraid that my head would explode if I did.

I went to the island in the middle of my kitchen, leaning against its counter. I began digging through the drawers between the stove and the fridge. When I found no relief there, I continued going through cabinets, trying desperately to remember where I kept the Advil.

I made my way through them all and had still found nothing. Resting my head in my hands, I began excepting defeat and prepared to let the knives in my brain take over for a while. "Hannah, are you alright?" On the outside, I simply moaned, but on the inside, I had killed that boy three different times already. Why did he care if I was alright? He knew that I wasn't! He also knew why.

No! I brushed the thoughts away as soon as they entered my mind. I couldn't think about what had happened then, I just had to deal with what was happening now. He walked over and stood next to me, realizing how dumb his question had come across.

"Why do I remember you keeping the Advil right," he paused as he opened the cabinet closest to the fridge, "here?" He grabbed the bottle and held it out to me. Of course he knew where things were better than I did. How did he still know me so well? Had he ever stopped?

I grabbed the bottle and turned away from him, walking to the other end of the kitchen to get a glass of water. After consuming the two large capsules, I also grabbed two coffee mugs and turned towards my coffee pot that surprisingly, was already done.

"Oh, I was already up, and you looked so peaceful, so I... um... I hope you don't mind. That was Harry, he always managed to put his foot in his mouth when he talked to me, but managed to do so in such a way that there was no way that I could say no. I poured two cups of coffee, only pouring his three fourths of the way full, remembering that he liked to fill the remaining space with milk so that he didn't burn his tongue. When I looked up at him, I could tell that he was surprised that I remembered. Sometimes it's just the quirky little details that stick out in your mind, you know? The look on Harry's face was a combination of pleased and pained.

I leaned against the island's counter and the cold counter top sent a chill up my spine. Harry had taken a seat on the other side of the island. We both avoided eye contact, but we knew that someone would eventually have to speak up. Neither of us wanted to, because we knew what it would lead back to. We didn't want to think about it, but what other choice did we have?

"Erm..." Harry started, looking me dead in the eyes. "Do you remember anyth..."

"No, I was hoping that you would. Do you think that we..."

"I'm not sure, but look at us." He looked my body up and down, wrapped by the blanket, then continued to evaluate himself. His chest was bare and the only cover he had were his American Eagle boxers. "And I put these on after you came out here," he continued awkwardly.

There was no way that I would have just... I couldn't think about it. I knew what memories were flooding back, but I knew that I had worked hard to build that dam in the back of my mind for a very long time. Apparently it wasn't strong enough, because I still remembered that night. I remembered every detail; the pain and hurt shot through my veins. It was too much; I couldn't take it.

I put down my coffee mug and headed for my room. Before I could get too far away, I felt something delay me. I looked halfway back to see Harry's hand restraining my wrist from going along with the rest of my body. We both paused, knowing that we had been in this situation before. It was the one thing that reminded my that I couldn't do it again. I couldn't just give in and forgive him. Not after what he did to me. I yanked my arm from his grip and went into the bathroom, grabbing the first pair of panties and the first t-shirt that I saw. Tears began to fall and I tried helplessly to bling them away, mostly without success.

Turning the water halfway to boiling, I unleashed my thick, brown curls to fall over my bare shoulders. I found a hickey on my hip... perfect -_- ... The hot water gave me a chill at first, but quickly became relaxing to the point that there wasn't a 'now', but, unfortunately, that gave me all the time in the world to remember then.

Notes

Finally done with this chapter :) hope you're enjoying it! I have all the time in the world today so lots of new chapters! The next chapter is mostly a flashback, but it's vital soooo.... hope you like it!
xoxo Hannah <3