Sinning ⇼ Harry Styles

I woke up with the sun beating on my face, making it hard to stay in my bed no matter how much I had wanted to. After prying my eyes open and looking around my small room, I came to realize that a rough voice was coming from the kitchen. With confusion, I checked the time on my phone: Mum won’t be home until dinner time, and Jason typically left first thing in the morning. I debated whether or not I should see who the voice belonged to, but fear struck inside of me at the thought that I wouldn’t know the source. With reluctance, I fixed my hair and stared at my pajamas: A matching set of a button up short sleeve top and shorts. Deciding it was modest enough, I quietly escaped my bedroom and walked down the hall to see who was in my kitchen. I was more than surprised to see Harry standing with his back to me, dressed in black jeans and a black top, yelling into his phone.

"No, I've told you a million times, I'm not fighting Jacob!.... Because he's a pussy that's why..... He doesn't fight fair.... That's not the point, I don't care if it's easy money..... No, Liam, you tell him that if I'm going to fight him, the stakes have to double..... Because the last time I fought him he ended up in the hospital!" He unconsciously turned around, his green eyes meeting mine. His lips remained pursed, but his yelling had ceased. "I'll call you back..... I'm busy, Liam...." He snapped, still holding the phone to his ear as he watched my every move.

"Did I wake you?" He asked quietly; his eyes hooded.
"No." My voice came out in a whisper, not wanting the other end of the phone to hear me.
"You cold?" He asked, seeing as my hands tried to cover the exposed skin on my arms. I nodded briefly. He flicked his finger, signalling me to walk to him. "Liam, I don't want to fight him." Harry said, wrapping his arm around me. I set my head on his chest, listening to his ragged breathing. "I want a challenge." He told Liam with a sigh. "If I do this, the stakes better be doubled..... I'm not kidding!" He snapped. "Fine..... Tomorrow night? Yeah, fine, whatever..... Look, I have to go..... Because, I'm busy....." His eyes flashed down to me, then back to the wall. "Yes, it's a girl..... Yeah, yeah, tomorrow at eleven, I've got it." With that, he hung up, slipping his phone into his pocket and peering down at me. “Your brother let me in on his way to work. Nice guy,” I raised my eyebrows, attempting to move away from Harry, but he caught my arm and pulled me back to him. “I’ve been waiting for an hour,” He clarified despite the fact that I hadn’t asked.

"Last night was fun." He smirked. "We should do it again sometime. Perhaps tomorrow." I caught my breath in my throat. How the hell am I supposed to tell him this was all a mistake and I might not ever want to do it again... At least not until I'm married. I melted into his bright green eyes and couldn't resist.
"Okay." I whispered timidly, going against everything I believe in. He released me, running a hand through his curly hair. I noticed a small scar lining his left arm—Near his elbow. With curiosity, I reached up and ran a finger across it. Harry’s body stilled for a second.
"I have to go,” He spat, his mood instantly changing. Without saying goodbye, he briskly walked past me and out the door, slamming it on his way out.

***

I sat in my bedroom, scrolling through Tumblr while music played quietly in the background.
"Eva?" Lily asked, coming in my room. "There's a boy here to see you." She raised an eyebrow. "I'd get him out of here before your mum comes home." I nodded slowly. "Is he the one that... Uhm, you know." she gestured to her neck, causing my face to turn bright red.
"Yes." I whispered, ashamed. She laughed a bit.
"He's cute. Do you want me to send him in?"
"Please." I figured it would be easier to hide him in my room if mom were to come home early, like she often does.
"I'll be back soon, I'm running to the store." She winked, disappearing out of sight. Moments later, Harry entered my room and I heard her old car speed off. No. I can't do this.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded, shutting the door behind him. He smirked automatically.
"So this is the dove’s room?" He asked, satisfied as he looked around.
"Harry." I stated, raising an eyebrow. He ran his hand along his chin, stopping when he reached his lips and pinching the bottom. That act alone was enough for me to lose my train of thought.
"You texted me and said we needed to talk." His eyes were dark. "So here I am." I scoffed.
"I meant through text." His long arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me toward him.
"You're wearing makeup." he noted. "I like the natural look better." I frowned. "But you still look pretty." He smiled genuinely, with a hint of threat. His scent pounded through my head, making it impossible to breathe.
"You smell good." I whispered as Harry's lips moved to my neck, kissing it lightly.
"You smell better." His hand glided across my jawline; his lips moving up to mine whilst he slyly pushed his tongue in my mouth. Hands held me to him by my hips, as mine were set gently on his chest. No, No, I can't do this. I have to stop.

Mustering all my courage, I pushed on his chest. Confused, he pulled away and stared at me through dark, lustful eyes. His plump lips moved to my neck, causing me to gasp.
"H-Harry, please." I stuttered. "Stop." Without hesitation, he pulled away, staring intently into my eyes.
"What?" He asked darkly, trying to hide his irritation.
"This is wrong." I whispered. "This is a sin." He smiled lightly, brushing the dirty blonde hair out of my pale face.
"There's nothing wrong with sinning. God forgives all sinners."
"I'll go to Hell for this." He chuckled.
"It's worth the trip, baby." my insides tightened as he tried to kiss me again. I pushed him away once more.

"Harry, I'm not kidding!" I scolded. He sighed, sitting on the edge of my bed.
"Fine." He muttered. "What's wrong?" He inquired, his tone hinting that he thought this whole ordeal was a joke.
"This is wrong. What we're doing, and it makes it even worse that we're only friends." Barely.
"Then go with me." He compromised, standing again, grabbing my waist and pulling it roughly to him. Nerves shot through my body.
"I-I can't." I whispered, staring at the floor.
"Why?" He demand, tightening his grip on me. "Is it because I scare you?" Again he tightened. I gasped slightly at the harshness. "I scare everyone." He growled. "No doubt I'd scare a little bird like you." His hands dug into me; no doubt leaving a red mark, but hopefully not a bruise. "Say it." He raised his voice. "Tell me I scare you!" My eyes screwed shut as he yelled, whimpering at the harsh content. "Open your eyes and tell me." He demanded.

I forced my gray eyes to meet his hard, anthracite ones. His perfect lips pressed into a hard-line. Oh my, he's so beautiful. How could the Devil pull me so close to someone who looks like an Angel? How could I feel this way about someone who uses women to get what he wants?
"I'm not afraid of you." I admitted, feeling fearless. "I'm afraid of the things you do." His brow creased in confusion before returning to the normal, smooth feature. He let me go, allowing me to take a few steps back.
"Be mine." It wasn't a question, it was a demand. And I loathed him for that. He's not even letting me make my own decision.
"I can't." I squeaked.
"Why?" He asked, his jaw tense.
"Roxanne would kill me." I lied.
"She doesn't have to know."
"She's my best friend!" I argued.
"She treats you like shit!" He exclaimed, sitting on my bed once more.
"So do you!" He went silent for a long while.

"I do it in your best interest. She does it in hers." He mumbled, running his hand through his thick, curly hair.
"Well, that’s a funny way of doing so."
"I want you. And I know you want me, too." He smirked, changing the subject.
"Harry-" He cut me off.
"Don't deny it, baby. I can see what I do to you." My face turned bright red. "Come here." He ordered, flicking his finger. I swallowed what was left in my dry throat, walking over to the bed. He tugged at my hand, lifting me on his lap. My hands were placed on his shoulders, our chests touching as I stared down at him; straddling his lap. "Do you feel it?" He asked quietly. I nodded, flushed. "It's what you do to me." He growled. I bit my lip as he shifted his hips; making it more prominent against the denim; pushing into the back of my thigh.

Harry noticed my confusion and took it to his advantage, creating a heated response.
"That's all for you, baby." He whispered. "You did this to me." A shiver ran down my spine, my insides tightening as I bit my lip. His eyes were softening, returning to the forest green hue as the corners of his lips pulled up into a smile. I surprised myself by lifting my small hands; brushing his curls away from his beautiful, face. But what I did next was the icing on the cake, my hands traveled down Harry's hard chest and to the bottom of his shirt, lifting it slightly with timid hands. He smiled softly, removing his shirt. My hands found themselves on Harry's abs, creeping to the curiosity within his jeans.

His eyes widened while he undid his belt; allowing me to slide off his lap and in front of him on the floor.
"Do you want to do this?" He asked quietly, as if he thought I was scared, and that's why I wanted to. I was scared, but I was curious, and after our previous intimate moment, I feel it's right to touch him properly. Without the strain of his boxers.
"Yes." I whispered, Harry shook his head.
"Tell me, I have to know you're sure." He held my forearms to prevent them from doing further damage.
"I want to touch you." I whispered, my voice shaking. "But-uhm-I-I don't know how." He smiled slightly, leaning down and pressing his soft lips against mine, pushing my hair out of my face.
"I can help with that." He whispered, releasing my arms. My small fingers undid the button on his black jeans, followed by the zipper while I tugged it down, staring up at him as I didn't know what to do next.

His lips remained pursed as he slid his pants and boxers down to his ankles, staring intently at me. My hand slowly reached up, gently touching him. I gasped. It was hard, big. Harry's lips parted while he took in a sharp breath. My eyes said it all, I had no idea what to do and I'm sure as ever, my eyes were as wide as an owls, I never thought a man’s private area could be so big… And so intimidating. His pink tongue wet his top lip while he reached down to my hand, placing his large hand over mine and teaching me how to move. Slowly moving up and down; becoming faster with each pump. As we reached a steady pace, he removed his hand; leaving me on my own. His breathing became deeper and his eyes struggling to stay open.
"Are you sure you've never done this before?" He asked with a small laugh. I nodded, flushed. "Good." He smirked. "Harder." He breathed, screwing his eyes shut. He gasped for breath as my breathing trembled.

He throbbed in my hand as I held on to him harder, pumping faster and watching his perfect face. He looked so vulnerable... Like I held his world in my hands and could break it in a second, like he could to me. He resembled I on the first day we met, at the boxing meet when he drove me home. It took me a moment to figure out that I was in charge. I control Harry at this moment, and it's the only moment I will ever, and I enjoyed it.
"Oh, Eva." He moaned, his head falling back. Seconds later, a warm, white liquid poured out of him, falling down his length and onto my hand. I released him, staring up at his calm features. He let out a long breath, reaching over and grabbing a tissue from my dresser, wiping my hand and himself off. "Thank you, pretty girl." He muttered, standing while he pulled his pants up and throwing the tissue away; buckling his belt.

"Are you mine?" I asked quietly, scared of his response while he tugged on his shirt. Green eyes darted to mine.
"You're mine." He growled, "But I'm not yours." It felt like he had ripped out my heart and I had to bite my lip to keep from crying. He maintained my gaze for a moment longer, before kissing my forehead and grabbing his keys and walking out of my room. Seconds later, the front door opened and closed; I heard his car drive away and pulled a pillow to my chest; crying into it. I belong to him, but he does not belong to me. I'm sinning for a man I can't even call mine.

Notes