Are we lovers?
Chapter 19
"SUCK IT UP!! YOU HAVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THIS! YOURE WEAK!" Dylin yelled at me as the blood poured down my wrist.
"I-I I'm sorry" I whispered.
I had enough of seventh grade and had decided to cut myself. I thought about all the people who hated me. The names: whore, slut, hoe, bitch, idiot, anoerexic bitch, attention whore, ugly, too skinny. I thought about the pain. I thought about the tourture. I thought about all the fake friends, all the liars, all the people who came to me and comeplained about their lives that I would kill to have. And I just did it. Every single word, every single tear, every single night that I cried myself to sleep, wishing that I had just died at birth (because I almost did) went into me cutting myself. Then, instead of comforting me, Dylin yells at me. I didn't know it then but he did it because he was scared and didn't want me hurting myself. He had watched through it all. The cutting, the throwing up. The attempted suicides. Everything. He had finally had enough and he actually said something.
I woke up screaming for Harry. He rushed in I was crying so hard. He held me. "Shh baby Shh it's ok it's ok. It was just a dream." he cooed.
No it was a flashback. In a nightmare. Something had triggered it.I thought back to everything that happened that day
(Flashback)
"Why is my guitar out?" Harry asked.
I explained that Niall and the boys were playing my song for me and he said "Oh. Ok"
the boys then left. As soon as harry and I said our goodbyes Harry shut the door and.. We fucked. Not.
He turned around and said "Samantha.." he started to say something but I cut him off
"it's ok Harry you don't have to say anything. I get it. You were comforting me you didn't really mean it. It's ok. I'm used to people saying things to comfort me."
I went to the bathroom. Then I took a shower. Then I slipped and.. Oh.
(end of flashback)
"I-I I'm sorry" I whispered.
I had enough of seventh grade and had decided to cut myself. I thought about all the people who hated me. The names: whore, slut, hoe, bitch, idiot, anoerexic bitch, attention whore, ugly, too skinny. I thought about the pain. I thought about the tourture. I thought about all the fake friends, all the liars, all the people who came to me and comeplained about their lives that I would kill to have. And I just did it. Every single word, every single tear, every single night that I cried myself to sleep, wishing that I had just died at birth (because I almost did) went into me cutting myself. Then, instead of comforting me, Dylin yells at me. I didn't know it then but he did it because he was scared and didn't want me hurting myself. He had watched through it all. The cutting, the throwing up. The attempted suicides. Everything. He had finally had enough and he actually said something.
I woke up screaming for Harry. He rushed in I was crying so hard. He held me. "Shh baby Shh it's ok it's ok. It was just a dream." he cooed.
No it was a flashback. In a nightmare. Something had triggered it.I thought back to everything that happened that day
(Flashback)
"Why is my guitar out?" Harry asked.
I explained that Niall and the boys were playing my song for me and he said "Oh. Ok"
the boys then left. As soon as harry and I said our goodbyes Harry shut the door and.. We fucked. Not.
He turned around and said "Samantha.." he started to say something but I cut him off
"it's ok Harry you don't have to say anything. I get it. You were comforting me you didn't really mean it. It's ok. I'm used to people saying things to comfort me."
I went to the bathroom. Then I took a shower. Then I slipped and.. Oh.
(end of flashback)
11/21/13